You may think this is an odd title and even stranger subject for today’s chat!

It comes because yesterday was an awesome day in Indy that concluded with a mini-session/social networking event in one of the city’s newest & most charming areas near downtown.  The mini-session I attended was entitled “Web 2.0″.

The title refers to the shift that has happened with the internet.  And what a shift it is!

When the internet first began to come out of the shadows & be a ‘force to be recokened with; it was primarily ’static’.  You put up a few pages, invited others to come find you & hoped those pages accomplished your goal.  But nothing on the pages changed.  That is unless you went to the expense of changing them on a regular basis.  And if you aren’t a ‘techie’ - then another cost incurred.

Over the past several years, the internet has moved from ’static’ to ‘dynamic’.  Meaning it has become a tool for ‘communication’.  A mutual exchange between thee & me from wherever we happen to be!

Thus the sudden proliferation of social networking sites, blogs, tags & ‘wikis’.  Don’t ask me to explain”tags” & “wikis”.  It was a “mini-session” - remember?

The origin of this shift came from a presentation that a fellow gave at a major conference about 5 years ago. Wha-la, it has arrived!  And much of it has to do with the growth of Google and it’s thirst for fresh content.  Static was just that - static.  Dynamic is fluid & that’s what Google likes.  Thus all the other ‘google-wannabes - like it too.

Recall that I’ve talked here before about the importance of blogging.  And doing it on a regular basis.  Well there’s more than one important reason for doing so.  Blogging on a regular basis keeps Google ’spiders’ on the crawl to keep up with your ever-changing content.

What if you have one of the 700,000,000 websites in cyberspace that is simply a ‘marketing’ tool or a ‘presence’ in your geo-area because you want to get info to a larger audience?  And your site doesn’t change because it wasn’t built that way.

Well let me add this disclaimer!  I am not  the resident expert in these matters.  I just regurgitate what I’m learning.  But my advice is to add a BLOG to your current site.  Write to it daily or at least 3-4 times a week.  If you’re not a great writer or don’t have the time to spend - get assistance from someone who does write well. 

For instance, you might ‘borrow’ a college student majoring in creative writing or a field closely aligned with yours with above average writing skill; who would love the opportunity, experience & exposure.

I’ll say more about Web 2.0 as we move along in our daily chats, but for know I just wanted to give an overview of what I’m learning so you can learn it too!

BTW - you don’t have to be a ‘geek’ or a ‘technocrat’ to BLOG!  All you need is one of the blogging software platforms, such as WordPress (which is what we use at A Women’s Place) and a little help from a friend who has the knowledge & experience with the platform & a willingness to help.

How’s that for encouragement to move into the 21st century with all the youngins’ who can manuever an object with the same name as a creature we used to swat with a broom.

Have an awesome day with great creative thoughts and many successes along the way.  And a special happy birthday to AWP member, Cindy Hartman!

Linda, a fellow journeyer

Can we put a value on relationships?  If we had to assign a $$$ value to any relationships in our lives - what would we do?  Could we even do it?

Yet, relationships are among our most valuable & precious ‘possessions’.  Not that we ‘possess’ persons; but that we possess ’something’ that brightens life & gives us considerable pleasure.

Relationships with others can ‘make or break’ us as we well know!  I’ve worked in situations where some form of relationship was required - and it was not good.

But it’s not those type that I’m talking about here.  I’m referring to relationships with people who make life more worthwhile - strengthen, encourage, delight - whatever adjective you place on the energy that occurs between 2 people.

I bring this subject today because some years ago, I was asked by a professional friend, to put a value on a relationship.  “If you had to ’sell’ that relationship; how much would you ask,” was his question?

I couldn’t do it!  I couldn’t come up with an amount that came near the value of the person and the relationship we shared.

Yet, often times we let valuable relationships languish while we attend to other things.  We put our mind and heart to a project; an activity or anything else but. . . .

I was hauled up short by my friends question!  “How dare he ask that,” I thought.  But it wasn’t the amount he was after.  He asked it to make a point.  The point being that while I ‘mouthed’ the importance of the other person and our relationship - I was only giving lip service.  I was letting it “die on the vine!”

Whether it’s an important business relationship that doesn’t net that much to the bottom line; but brings much more than ‘money’ to the table.  Is our focus solely on those relationships that make us money?

In our homes & families; our marketplace life; church & community life - everywhere that we meet, greet and grow into relationship with others - we are adding ‘value’ to our lives.  And by ‘lives’, I mean every aspect of them.

And hopefully it’s mutual!  Hopefully we’re adding something of value to the other’s life as well.

So this bright & early a.m., I guess I’ve reverted to the role my professional friend played all those years ago.  I’ve asked the question.  I don’t need an answer.

But perhaps, dear friends. . . you do!

Have an awesome day with a little time for the most valuable relationships in your life!

Linda, a fellow journeyer

Besides what comes to my inbox, I get some great printed matter.  Rarely have time to read it all; but the titles alone are enough to get my ‘chrono-mature’ brain on overdrive.  “Christian Professional” has a recent article entitled, “Focus On Opportunities”.  It got me to thinking about the vision & mission for A Women’s Place Network, Inc. - in its entirety - and how the marketplace is beginning to define networking.

Focusing on opportunities is a different way of looking at building business via networking events.  Instead of looking at them as a means to find clients or customers; perhaps we want to focus on the opportunties that networking events provide us for making connections & developing relationships!

I call it the “chain of events” phenomenon!  Here’s an example from my own recent days that hopefully turns the light bulb on as to how focusing on the opportunties may be more valuable than a more traditional networking focus.

A few months ago, at a Rainmaker event (a large Indy group), I encountered the R.M. President, Lorraine Ball, as I entered the room.  We greeted, exchanged pleasantries & as we walked from the refreshment table, we were approached by a gentle gentleman.  He and Lorraine knew one another & began chatting.  Momentarily, she introduced me.  “Linda, I’d like you to meet Ron Sukenick.  He’s a fellow you probably want to get to know!”

Lorraine walked away and left Ron & I to get acquainted.  The result of the brief encounter led to a 2-hour meeting one week later.  That led to an agreement with Ron to work with AWP Network, Inc. as our CRO (Chief Relationship Officer).  Ron’s credentials are as long as one’s arm & the contacts & connections he has across the globe is nothing short of amazing.

The added value to all of this is that he really likes what we’re doing and where we want to go.

I call that a “focus on the opportunity chain of events!” 

Because it led to meeting other folks (male & female) with whom we can be mutually beneficial.  In a few short weeks, amazing things have come to pass from that one ‘chance encounter’ (and we all know there is no such thing as ‘chance’). 

The point of this is to say that had I been focused on selling our vision & mission; I might have walked away from Ron with little or no follow up for many reasons:

1) he’s a fellow & not a ‘gal’; 2) he didn’t represent a ’sales’ opportunity; and, 3) I didn’t explore enough to see if there was an opportunity to follow up the brief conversation & exchange of biz cards that occurred while milling about at a more traditional networking meeting.

And trust me, if I had not - we would’nt be on the ‘cusp’ of great things to come!!!

See what I mean by a “chain of events” that came about because I’ve learned over the years to focus on the opportunty.

When I apply this to our newly formed face 2 face small neighborhood networks (Affiliated Women Intltm), I recognize how important it is for our membership (and guests) to focus on the opportunities that lie in their follow up appointments with each other!

If only each of us can make the ‘mental shift’ required to move from a traditional approach to networking to a relationship-building approach to encountering others.

Because I can tell you that - in the long run of things - a relationship-building approach will net us far more!  Not just in terms of $$$ & cents from qualified referrals (not leads!); but from the value of the relationship itself.

And how much is any relationship worth?  How do we place a value on a relationship that never brings in cash; but brings with it honesty, integrity, trust, genuineness, gentle candor & transparency - as well as considerable pleasure.  How much is that kind of relationship worth to us in life?

So my encouragement for the day is: a) step back; b) evaluate how you view networking; c) evaluate the “chain of events” that have brought about successful encounters; and, d) reflect on how that happened!  Then, be determined to practice the mental shift it takes to move from “networking as usual” to a focus on the opportunities.

And watch for the “chain of events” that leads to the opportunties that lead to where you want to be!

Have an awesome day with many “chains of events” and much more opportunities!

Linda, a fellow journeyer

I used to raise funds for charitable organizations - as a development office and later as a consultant with my own company.  The years I spent in this industry were some of the best & brightest learning of my career!

What I learned laid the groundwork for what I’m doing now.  It has been the ’seedbed’ for realizing how important ‘connections’ are when we are pursuing  anything  in life!  Whether it’s managing a home or home-based business.  Be it “teeny-weeny” or multi-millions; we can’t make it happen without those all important connections.

And it’s rare that the connections occur without  a connector!

As I explained to our CRO in a meeting last week; when going after anything of significance with significant folk we don’t know & they don’t know us; it’s critical to our success to have a connector!  For analogy purposes, I’ll call that person our bridge person.

The strategy works like this.  We identify who it is we want to contact.  The higher they are on the ‘food chain’ in terms of how capable they are to meet our needs; the more important it is to identify who bridges between “us” and “them”.  There are of course some other variables in play; but the primary one is to find that person who knows us both.

Or better still, the person who has a relationship with both of us!

What I’ve come to recognize now that I’ve sojourned in the connections-business over the past year, is that no matter what we engage in life; our ultimate success hangs on a hook called ‘connectors’. 

Yes, we’ll come in direct contact with folks that we’ll connect with directly because there’s a mutual interest, etc.  But the “biggies” will, for the most part, come because we interact with someone who will “take us in!”

When we are starting on a new path in career, business, or life in general; connectors are key to achieving our goals.  They are the ones who will bridge the gap between us and them. 

It’s Monday and the beginning of a new marketplace week.  It may not be the day for strategizing rather than “doing” (as in “activity”).  But the successes of the week may hinge on how well we identify those in our sphere of influence who are our connectors.

And then match them with those we want to come to know.

Just a suggestion for consideration:  you might make a list of who it is you want (or need) to meet.  Then look in your connections file for those who are connected in some way to both of you.  The rest is about connecting with your ‘connectors’.

Trust me - at some point, those ‘connectors’ will take you through an open door that might have remained ‘closed’!

It just occurred to me that I probably haven’t told you anything you don’t already know!  But at times, it’s good to be reminded of the things we know, but may have forgotten we know.

Have an awesome day with great connections from a handful of trusted connectors.

Linda, a fellow journeyer

A week or so ago, I wrote about the large billboard I saw on the wall of the international terminal at the Newark airport.  The one that caught my attention with “I AM POWERFUL!”

Friday I learned that one of our Indianapolis Affiliated Women gave a dynamic program at the last meeting based on the song, “Strong Women” (at least I think that is the title).  Everyone said it was awesome.

Every Sunday I think about the power God gave us when He chose to take a rib from Adam’s side (under his heart mind you) to fashion the perfect helpmate for man.  Not an ‘underling’ or a ’slave’ or an ‘inferior creature’.  But a ‘compliment’ who possesses the skills the man doesn’t have - at least in the same measure as ‘woman’.

Why on Sunday?  Why does it come to me on this the day of ‘worship’ for most people who identify with the Christian faith tradition? 

Well, most Christians set aside this one day (or Saturday) as the day to do ‘duty’ to our Heavenly Father as He set forth in the Commandments.  I don’t mean to be demeaning when I use the word ‘duty’; but for some it may be more of a ‘duty’ than an act of worship as Scripture describes what God desires of us.

However, that’s not the subject of today’s chat!

It comes to me because, as I’ve said many times before at this ‘post’; one of the last few bastions where women are not fully recognized for what we bring to the table, is the world’s ‘churches’.  They are, for the most part, still the powerful haven of males.

Are we to desire to aspire to the pastorate?  I don’t know, but then God calls whom He will!  Are we to usurp the role of the male in the congregation?  No! 

But are we to be sent off to the loft with the restriction “not to talk & don’t teach”.  After all, some of the most profound and Biblically accurate teaching I’ve heard has come from the lips of a woman!  Women called to “teach” by the Lord Who had a Hand in their creation.

So, from a strictly practical, non-emotional standpoint - how do we handle the situation.  Do we continue to walk sheepishly to the loft without a wimper or cry?  Do we turn and lash back at the one with blinders who’s shouting - “get back where you belong”? 

Or do we simply walk from the building; never to return to the Sunday sermon and earthly ‘fold’?

Many have!  Others simply walk through the Sunday (or mid-week door); turn a semi-deaf ear and walk out without really engaging.  After all, engaging may be entail some pain.  And who wants that?

Now I don’t meant to generalize!  There are places of worship where the talents, skills, abilities & sensibilities of women are held in very high esteem.  Women have major leadership roles; serve on important committees where her opinion counts as much as the males. 

But all too often, they are few and far between - too far for some of us to travel to come away feeling valued & appreciated.  Come away recognizing and experiencing our own “powerfulness” as women of faith.

So what do we do about the situation?  Can we make a significant impact without giving into a male church stereotype that “women are just busybodies & troublemakers?”  Or worse yet, viewed as this decades “mad feminist” who wishes she had the same ‘plumbing’ as a male (you’ve heard that piece of psychological garbage now haven’t you?).

We can pray!  We can turn to our ’secret place’ and talk to the Lord about the situation and continue to implore change.  As we do, we’ll change  & we may see change in the minds of religious men as well.

But the important thing that comes as a result of spending time in the ’secret place’ is that we’ll get direction, clarity, advice & guidance from Him Who formed us in the womb.

We may even hear, impressed upon our minds, the words ”You  are  Powerful” while in the quiet of the ’secret place’. 

When we do, use  the knowledge of our God-given power that He intended us to use, to make the world a better place - one person, one home, one church, one community - at a time.

And as we do - we will “Be Powerful!”  We’ll no longer be the “worlds’ greatest untapped natural resource.” 

To paraphrase a cute saying I heard recently:  “Woman rises in the morning, puts her feet on the floor & Satan trembles with “she’s up!”

Let’s be that woman!  The one that causes those who would be our enemy whether they know it or not - to “tremble” because . . .

“We’re Up!”

Linda, a fellow journeyer

I certainly do!  Give me a woman who speaks her mind without fear of reprisal; rebuke or rejection!  Give me a woman secure enough in herself to tell it like it is for herself.

That’s what happened yesterday at one of our Affiliated Women’s neighborhood networks!  One woman, less ‘chrono-mature’ than most of us; but certainly a “2nd half of the journey” gal.  When revealing her ultimate goal, she said “to be rich!”

I love it!  Most of us danced around that truth with some bland statement about “doing for others” when in reality we all were probably thinking - “yea, I want to be rich, too!”

There’s nothing wrong with candor.  As long as it’s not meant to offend, bruise, or in anyway be destructive to another.  In fact, candor is one of life’s most refreshing qualities, I think!

There’s also nothing wrong with desiring to acquire wealth.  After all, we couldn’t pursue many of the ‘bland’ platitudes we mouth without a ‘pot of gold’ at the ‘end of the rainbow’.

And it’s okay to say so!  After all, most of us are thinking it anyway.  Yes, it’s important to pursue our passion & fulfill our purpose.  In fact, when we jump onto that road and move forward with great resolve & considerable speed, we’re most likely to achieve both the success of our dream - and wealth!

But it won’t happen until we learn how to handle wealth!  We’ve got to be ready to know what to do with a “12-figure calculator” as I’m fond of saying!  We’ve got to be a woman our Papa can trust with that size calculator and pocketbook!

Being candid about our desire to be rich is saying it like it is!  After all, wealth is part of the legacy we leave the world along with a “vision that is bigger than we are” (as one of our AWItm members said recently). 

But I’ve wandered afield here from a discussion about ‘candor’.  To meet a woman who is confident enough to lay it out there in a “what you see is what you get” manner is a breath of fresh air.  In a world of folks who hedge, hum, haw or otherwise tell us what they think we want to hear; someone speaking their own truth without regard for the “fallout” energizes.  It’s a sign of the maturity of folks in the 2nd half of the journey regardless of where they are on the ‘chrono-scale’.  And it’s often one of the ways to tell if a woman has transitioned to the road of the same name.  Because when we do, we tend to shuck the trappings that come with trying to impress others - for whatever reason; and simply present outselves without mask or makeup (yes, sometimes I appear in ‘bare face’).

You know, it’s freeing!  No the word is liberating to shed that which is truly not necessary to our achievements & our success.  Wow, how awesome it feels to breath air untouched by deceit, disguise & hidden agendas!

My encouragement for the day!  If you don’t practice it already; begin now to try on ‘candor’ as the new suit of clothes you’ll wear tomorrow.  Practice it with trusted family & friends until it ’suits’ you just fine.  And let the ‘chips fall where they may as long as they don’t lay there bruised & bleeding!

Have an awesome day with so many blessings you need a bushel basket to hold them all!

Linda, a fellow journeyer

It’s July & where did everybody go?  It seems every person I know headed for some lush vacation spot or simply walked away from computer, cell, land line and every other type of communication device!

Yes, it’s that time of year when folks leave the daily chores (if not the daily cares) behind to rest & recreate with friends & family.  It’s the last few weeks before school starts & the weather begins to turn cooler.  I hear it time & time again - “if we don’t do it now, we won’t get it done!”

But it’s tough for business!  Even more so in a slowed economy.  After all, we need all the sales we can get since our costs never go on vacation.

The “everybody’s gone” cycle of life occurs over & over again in every season.  There’s always going to be a time when everybody’s gone - or so it seems.  A time when we feel lonely & bereft.  A time when we might wonder - “is it all worth it”?

Yes, of course it’s worth it!  After all, not everyone goes on vacation at the same time.  And it’s rarely a truism that “everybody’s gone”.  Even when we feel all alone in our separate cocoons.  If we can just weather the space between “everybody’s gone” and “wow, how much more activity can I take” - life will return to a balance.

There’s something refreshing about folks taking off ‘for the hills’ - for them!  There’s also something refreshing for us if we’ll simply remember that “this time will pass as well”.

Having said the above about everybody being gone at this time of the year; I’m here to announce that “I’m gone for the day!”  Out of the cubby hole I call my office to meetings in the city.  While it won’t be the big exciting event we all look toward, it is a change of pace.

And we all need that change of pace once in a while so that life tips back toward the center and suddenly everybody’s gone returns to . . . “they’re back”!

Have an awesome day doing what you love; getting ready for a leisurely summer weekend and remember!  All who leave for a while have to return - sometime.

Linda, a fellow journeyer

Yesterday I talked a wee bit about ‘nostalgia’.  You know, the tendency we have as we grow more ‘chrono-mature’ to recall people, places & events out of our past.  Not only do we recall; but we tend to bore folks with our conversations of such as if what we’re sharing happened “yesterday”!

Well another thing that tends to come our way as we move further along the ‘chrono-scale’ into the 2nd half of the journey is discussion about our health.  I don’t mean discussions on the latest medical breakthrough or anti-aging strategy.  I mean consistent conversation around our “age” (shhh, don’t tell anyone I used that word!); the conditions from which we suffer; the medications we take & this pain or that ache or common assumption that such & such normally occurs when we’re at “our age!”

I hate it!  I mean I loathe it.  Nothing is more boring or debilitating to me mentally (and emotionally I might add) than to sit and listen to how much forgetting so & so is doing or a thorough explanation of the latest pain that requires expensive care. 

And to top it all off - the conversations always end with some comment about “what can we expect at our age”!

Well, I don’t know about you, but I expect much greater things than more medication; a new ache & pain and a social calendar that includes more physician visits than time with friends.

What happens to us as we travel the journey?  As a young mom, I used to go to the neighborhood “kaffee klatz”.  You know, where moms go to have ‘adult’ conversation!  Well, the conversation was anything but stimulating.  It almost always centered on the exploits of our young children.  When I would try to steer the conversation to a discussion of the latest books everyone was reading; the optic ‘daggers’ came out & my attempts were beat back by the neighborhood ’super moms’ (I wasn’t one of them although I was adequate - I wasn’t “super”).

So I stopped going.  I stayed home with my young ones & lamented the fact that we couldn’t get together for any other reason than to bore each other with “mom talk” or “child chatter”.

Well, it’s happening again!  With women I’ve enjoyed being with for years (since high school actually).  Intelligent women who are physically active to the point that more than one of us still “works” (you know - outside the home).  I love getting together over breakfast & sharing ‘adult’ things.

But recently, the tone of talk has changed!  More time is spent discussing how we manage all the pills we must take, or the latest health challenge one or the other is engaged in.  Gone are the discussions of world affairs; the latest great read; matters of the Spirit, etc. 

Well, it’s depressing!  At least it is for me.  First of all, (and thank God) I don’t have much to add to the conversation except to say that I’m not great at remembering to take my hypertension pill daily.  But then I wasn’t good taking any pill daily no matter my ‘chrono-maturity’ level. 

I don’t have any aches or pains to speak of (again thank God) and I don’t hang out with ’sick’ folk so I can’t share who I know who is weathering a major health crisis at the moment.

What’s really sad about the whole thing is that these are my only l-o-n-g term women friends whose company I thoroughly enjoy!  But a consistent reminder of where we are on the ‘chrono-scale’ is not my idea of “fun”.  It also is a consistent challenge to remaining convinced one is “only as old as one thinks she is!”

Will I excuse myself from future times together?  Probably not.  I’ll weather the conversation that rests simply on the surface of life & leave when it goes beyond my tolerance level. 

Then I’ll come home, take the pill I forgot before leaving, place Russell in the CD player & get busy connecting with younger folks who are beyond child bearing years (thank God they say!) and have yet to give notice that the ‘chrono-scale’ is inching onward.

And no more sliding into the seat of the car with a sigh & breathless utterance - “Oh no, not that again!”

For today, I encourage us to grab life by the b_ _ _ _ (oops!) and grasp it for all it’s worth.  Make it a day in which we wring all we can from the moments and don’t give a second thought that our clock is ticking!

Be proud of your accomplishments this day & be encouraged in all you do!

Linda, a fellow journeyer

Musing over this morning’s coffee, it occurred to me to write something today on what is jokingly referred to by the “younger set” as “living in the past”.  They chuckle over the stereotype of older folks living in their memories of much more youthful days!

Well I’m here to say that’s not all together true!  Oh it may be that folks who are much more ‘chrono-mature’ than we, do indeed review, reminisce & muse over events of their younger days.

But not for us who know that with ‘chrono-maturity’ comes the ripening of wisdom!

Perhaps it’s the warm summer days that brings it out.  Then again, it may be important dates connected with folks who have been very important in our lives.  Folks who are no longer with us “in the flesh”.  But whatever it is, one thing is true as we move along the ‘chrono-scale’.

“Enter nostalgia!”  And it’s not a bad thing at all.  In fact, it’s a very good thing to recall & review folks & events from days when life seemed (trust me, it only seemed) simpler.

Here’s an example of what I mean by “enter nostalgia”.  My friend Harold and I were driving somewhere & he began to share a story from his childhood that related to where we were (I might add, a story I’ve heard eons of times).  His nostalgia led to my own!  So I began to share something from my days that related to a similar event to the one he had been sharing. . . . on & on we went!

Upon our return, he reminded me of an upcoming event we are both to attend.  I noted the date & replied with the following: “that’s the date of my parents wedding anniversary!” 

My parents have been romping around the heavenlies for some years now & probably don’t give a rat’s behind that August 3rd is cause for anniversary celebration!  However, I did a quick mental calculation and responded thusly.  “My parents would be married 73 years on August 3.”

Dear friends, what does that piece of information have to do with the challenges we work through on a daily basis at this point in our lives?  Nothing - Nada!

But just rolling it over in my head, smiling at the thought that my wonderful Mom & Dad may be holding spiritual hands in high & lofty places celebrating 73 years of wedded love brought a chuckle to an otherwise mundane day.  And a sense of ‘fun’ that “nostalgia” can bring to life!

Writing this, I have to wonder if that’s why it’s a trademark of ‘chronologically maturing’ seasons & the 2nd half of any journey?  After all, the longer we tred the path, the more we have to stuff in our memory bag. 

More folks come across our path to lighten the load.  Children & g’children come upon the scene.  G’parents, parents & dear friends leave us - and life moves on!

And we adjust!  We make accommodation for the changes that occur.  However, as Ron says, “relationships never end - they simply change!” 

The pleasant (or not so pleasant at times) memories truly never end.  They continue to pile up & overflow the memory vault.  Thus it’s perfectly understandable that as we continue the path called “2nd half”, folks & events are bound to “pop out” once in a while, so thus. . . . enters nostalgia!

A piece of “wednesday wisdom” for us.  If a younger person rolls her eyes when we grab something from the ‘memory vault’ & lay it out for all to see & hear - respond in the following manner:

“Oh, sweetheart - your time is coming!” 

Because trust me - it will.

Have an awesome day with pleasant reminders from you own memory vault that will lighten the day’s challenges & bring a smile to your face!

Linda, a fellow journeyer

FIRST up is a disclaimer!  I got a couple of apology emails from dear women who somehow thought they were the source of today’s earlier chat on “electronic etiquette”.  Especially the email that ‘yanked my chain’!

Let me say this for all who read here to know!  It was none of our dear women who come here or have become a registered member of our community!  So rest assured dear friends - it was not any of you.

Now to the subject at hand.  I get a load of stuff in my inbox as I’ve said before.  This a.m. was no different!  There they were - all those glorious pieces, many of which I open & save because they have valuable ’stuff’ in them.  One of them this a.m. got particular attention.  It came from a known source & I chuckled as I read the contents.

Then the chuckle turned to disappointment; then to just short of rage. 

“I was waiting for that to happen,” I thought.

How many times have each of us who’ve lived more than a few ‘chrono-mature’ seasons and picked up a bit of wisdom along the way; found ourselves in a situation where someone or something we trusted went “south” (as the old expression goes)?

How deeply does the sense of ‘betrayal’ cut?  Whether it’s actual or imagined - it hurts.  Hurt creates psychic (or emotional pain) that leads to anger and so on & so forth.

What really causes the chain reaction is fear.  When something creates a sense of fear; our human mechanisms protect us by disguising it as “pain” or “anger”.  I always have to remind myself of this when experiencing a sense of hurt or anger. 

But there’s no way to ’slice it’!  When a situation occurs that even has the hint of betrayal with it - it may throw us for a loop.  For me, it’s like the wind blew a big tree across my path and I have to stop & figure out how to quickly remove it without getting injured in the process.

Sometime ago, I heard a woman share her own agonizing story of betrayal with all the gory details included.  She’s less chrono-mature than me, but certainly traveling the 2nd half of the journey.  What struck me were her concluding words. . .

“While it appears to only ’sting’ as I’ve grown older; in reality, it has gone much deeper; hurts more & continues to throw up pangs of pain much longer than when I was younger.  Don’t ever let anyone tell you that we wear it better and carry it easier in our advancing years - not true!”

I thought about her statement and wondered if it was simply specific to her and her personality/temperment or a more general observation of how those of us who are ‘chrono-maturing’ handle the minor & not so minor betrayals that come with life.  Come because we’re all human and fall short. . .

I don’t think it will ever get easier to feel a sense of betrayal from folks we’ve trusted.  We may not lash out or buy a voo-doo doll or some other sort of immature act.  As for me, I’ll roll it into a ball and file it away in my memory chest so as not to be so naive the next time.

With this as my object lesson for today, I’m just going to sit back, wait and watch to see if and when “the other shoe drops”.   But you can bet I’ll keep the memory of potential betrayal close at hand so as not to walk that path with that situation again!

So my wisdom (of sorts) for each of us today is to let the agony of betrayal wash over us as it will anyway - and then go our merry way knowing we learned a new thing that will be valuable as we continue the journey!

Have an awesome day finding trusting relationships that only mellow with age!

P.S.  Paraphasing Ron, “relationships don’t end - they just change!”

Linda, a fellow journeyer