The “Sandwich Generation”!

Do you know who the “sandwich generation” is?  It’s those of us who are ’sandwiched’ between our children and our aging parents.

We say it on our AWP ‘home page’!  We refer to women who are sandwiched between the outgoing generation and the oncoming one!

I’ve gone here with this because over the past several days, I’ve heard from more than one AWP member who is dealing with aging-parent challenges.  Challenges multiplied by all the other challenges that life brings on a daily basis.

Once I was there.  My children were grown, but my mother’s CA returned in the bone & she decided to do only radiation therapy and then go to a long-term care facility to await the inevitable.  It wasn’t our choice - but hers!

The challenge for me was that I lived 88 miles (one way) from where Mom was.  My brother lived out of state and daughters were engaged in demanding jobs and in one case, a difficult floundering marriage.

To make the ‘personal aspect’ of this as short as possible; I traveled at least 4 days a week.  From Brown County Indiana to Cincinnati and back.  We resolved the challenge of making certain Mom had adequate attention at the personal family level by my making several wide round-trip “sweeps” weekly.  And most weekends, I drove home to take care of what needed to be taken care of - left from the undone matters of the previous week. 

Somehow, it all got done!  And Mom had more than adequate personal family attention during those remaining months of her life. 

What can we, as AWP ’sisters’ with similar life situations and life perspectives - do for each other?  Most importantly, what can we do for those of us who are really sandwiched at this point in their journey?

Since we are spread across the country (and soon across the world) - one might say, “not much!”

I don’t believe that’s true.  No, I can’t go sit with an AWP sister’s mom or dad while she cares for the other matters of life.  I can’t run errands, pick up the kids or otherwise be there geographically.

But one of the greatest blessings of modern technology is our ability to be present to one another emotionally, psychologically & spiritually via the web!

I can invite others of us who are in the same ‘boat’ to offer tips or “this worked for me” gems of wisdom by posting them here.

I can write supportive things that will lift her spirit and give strength and courage for the next wave of activity.

I can pray for her - her family!  Some folks say that all they can do is pray.  Well if that’s all we can do - that’s plenty!

I can be the still quiet voice speaking from the AWP “Many Messages” blog in the wee hours at the close of the day when the last thing my AWP sister does is ‘check-in’ here.  ‘Check-in’ to see if there are any words of wisdom, encouragement or otherwise “light at the end of the tunnel” that will bring peace to her weary body.

Some would say - some in ‘my generation’ before the information age dawned - that unless I can be physically present and “do something” - I haven’t done anything at all.

That’s simply not true!  I’ve been there - done that - bought the tee-shirt, and survived to tell.  And I can honestly report that the words of support and encouragement that those far away offered was food for the soul.  It was that ‘food’ that kept me going.

If you’ve been part of the ’sandwich generation’ and suvived to tell  - let me know!!!  And if you want to post something here that will be a ‘midnight snack’ for those who come seeking something - send me an email and I’ll make you an “author” so you can post your thoughts, suggestions and support here as often as you like.

I’m glad my ’sandwich’ days are at an end.  Oh sometimes, I get ’sandwiched’ between my needs and that of a daughter and grandchildren.  But it’s rare!

They do come to an end.  “Sandwich Season” does come to an end.  Usually not without some pain and sorrow - but it does come to an end. 

And then we look back and wonder how we did it?  How did we get it all done?  And with whatever pain accompanies the end - there is always that secret sigh of relief.  And it’s okay to be relieved!

Well, I don’t know if my thoughts have offered much of anything; but I was struck with how often in the past weeks I’ve heard from women whose lives have a ’sandwich’ quality!

Perhaps just acknowledging that we know; that we’ve been there, and reaching out with comforting & supportive words of encouragement is enough.

I certainly hope so!

Have an awesome evening with much love!

Linda

Today’s conversation comes from Pat Baldridge, a new friend and fellow ‘journeyer’.  I’m thrilled to have Pat’s expertise to add to our converations at “Many Messages”.  Hope you are as well.

From the Desk of Pat:

Can You Dig Out of Your Rut?  Find the Keys to Motivation

The challenge of staying motivated or motivating others is never-ending.  Just last week a business owner confessed “My staff just doesn’t care about this business.  I can’t get them motivated.”  When we’re trying to incite another person to action, or want to rekindle our enthusiasm, there are several things to consider. 

#1 All motivation is self motivation.  As a manager you can create an environment that’s conducive to motivation, but in the end the other person (you too!) only performs because they wish to do so. 

#2 There are two kinds of people in the world – as far motivation goes.    Identifying and catering to these types will make all the difference in your production, happiness and your bottom line.  Type one is a ‘toward’ person – those who move toward goals, raises, promotions, contests, bonuses, challenges and incentives.  Type two is an ‘away from’ person.  This type is based on moving away from pain i.e.  a loss of a job, demotion, unwanted transfer, etc.  It’s important to know that both are motivators and both get results. 

So when I’ve been asked by managers, “How do I motivate my staff?  Should I use a carrot or a stick?”  The answer is “That all depends.”   If both types are present in your staff – offer a reward and a consequence to get the job done such as “If we meet our deadline – lunch is on the office.  If we don’t, we’ll be pulling an all-nighter.” 

#3 Open environments are conducive to getting results.  How?  Ask, don’t tell.  Before you invest in an incentive that may or may not get the results you want, find out from your staff what they really want.  Just asking will help you create a positive work-place. 

Motivating on a shoestring!  When financial resources are limited there are some cost-free reliable ways to motivate, including:
• Be genuinely interested in your staff. 
• Get employees to see the end results of purposeful effort as it relates to their future.
• Provide them with goal-orient job descriptions.
• Keep them achieving—achievement is a great motivational factor.
• Listen with interest to employee’s triumphs, problems, ideas and grievances.

In my many years associated with management development training, one exercise alone makes the tuition of a management course an investment not an expense.  It’s an exercise for management that answers the question “In what way can we get employees to want to do that which must be done?”  Note that the emphasis should be on the word want.  It’s one thing to get employees to do what they should be doing, it’s totally another to get them to want to do it. 

For example, when the question is asked, answers can and should run the gamut.  Suppose an idea is to have the annual company planning meeting in Hawaii, instead of a local motel.  Even if this request is totally inappropriate, the creative thought process could lead participants to another thought.  Perhaps the top sales producers could be rewarded with a week’s vacation in Hawaii.  If this is attainable, consider how the company would profit if top producers are rewarded this way?  Would sales be likely to increase? What is the incentive going to cost? Will the company get a return on this investment?  Taking an idea from concept to a tangible motivator is the process of “green light thinking.” 

Combining these ideas will provide for a solid foundation for promoting motivation.  It’s important to realize that a manager or business owner can only provide the environment, for motivation.  J.D. Batton said “The tough minded manager learns that one of the most challenging and thrilling experiences in life is to develop ordinary people into extraordinary people.”  It takes motivation to make it happen.  Go for it!

Pat Baldridge, C12 Chair in Charlotte NC, is an author, speaker, trainer & consultant with over 25 years experience in working the corporate world.  A committed Christian, she desires to see women mature, grow and become all they’re meant to be!  She shares the same vision and desire for women as does A Women’s Place!

Adversity!  We all encounter it in life and we all experience the dread of encountering it!

I realize that an overnight snowfall of about 3 inches is not major adversity unless you’re a bad-weather ‘chicken’ driver like me!  But the important meeting in Indy for which I had waited 3 weeks forced me to brave the wet interstate; several minor accidents and sitting in stalled traffic on I-70. 

An adverse situation I would not normally attempt to persevere through. 

I saddled up my courage and headed out with radio on to distract my timidity.  I repeated prayerful phrases over and over as traffic slowed at the top of a major interstate hill and was almost relieved when everyone came to a halt! 

Fortunately, I arrived safely and only 15 minutes late for the meeting.  It was an awesome meeting that obviously was meant to take place!

What I would have missed if I had given in to my fears.  How much longer would it have taken to accomplish the goals with which I’ve been designated had I simply sat down in a warm house and said - “I’m not goin’ anywhere in this weather!”

Some folks would view the situation as one designed by the ‘enemy’.  Others would simply say that we can never depend on Indiana weather in late February or early March.

What I say is that God is in control!  Yes, even of the weather.  It was no ‘accident’ (excuse my pun) that today’s weather was the kind in which I would normally not venture far from home.  Certainly never venture onto I-70 which is one of my least favorite interstate highways. 

It was adverse weather and adverse driving conditions and I had a choice to make!  I could stay home and take weeks to reschedule with women’s busy calendars.  Or I could not let “rain nor snow nor sleet” keep me from my appointed appointment.

When I say that God is ultimately in control, I mean that things happen in our lives that have a purpose.   We often miss that purpose when we view those ‘happenings’ as adverse and let the adversity keep us from our ‘appointed rounds’ as the old saying goes.

I could almost hear my heavenly Papa chuckling as I looked out the window this a.m. to find considerable snow on the neighbor’s roof.  I could envision an air of smugness as He watched me snort and fuss over snow on a day when I needed to be in Indy 70 miles away.

Now compared to the adversity in many of my friends’ lives (and, perhaps in yours as well), some snow and wet pavement is not much through which to persevere.  The point is, my heart wanted to brave the elements - my mind wanted to stay home.

The wisdom in all of this is that adversity will come - regardless!  It simply is part of our human condition.  It’s what we do with it that makes the difference.  And each time we brave the elements, we grow stronger.

Now I don’t like that that’s the way it is!  I’ve often told Papa so.  But I’m not in charge and I don’t know all that it takes to build a strong man or woman of faith who can brave life elements and come out stronger on the other side. 

I do know that we always have a choice.  It may not feel like it or seem like it at the time; but we do!  We can persevere or we can stay home and play it safe.

Here’s the real wisdom in all of this.  If we’re fashioned and designed for certain purposes; then life events are built into life to move us in the direction of our purposes.  If we don’t rise to the occasion the first time - well, it will come around again - and again - and again, until we get it right.  Learn the lesson - grab the meaning. 

I have to tell you that if I’d known this in my early days of traveling with my heavenly Papa, I could have spared myself a lot of heartache.  Finally, as I’ve grown more ‘chrono-mature’, I’ve wised up.  I try to get it on the first try these days so as to avoid the double-whammy or the second time around.

For that reason, I warmed the car, brushed the snow from the windows, and headed out.  I didn’t want to risk a reschedule of an appointed appointment with the risk of next time - it could be worse.

I’ve made somewhat ‘light’ of today’s snowy situation, but many times telling a story with underlying profound significance with a touch of humor - drives (again, excuse my pun) home the point.

By the way, just like the 3 wise men, I returned home “another way”.  The sun shone, the road was clear and the wind died away.

I was glad I’d persevered.  I was thankful the accidents were minor compared to what they might have been.  I was thrilled to have arrived safely and nearly on time.

And I am pleased that I didn’t let a snowfall get in the way of my appointed task of the day; or the meeting of awesome women whose strength of character and courage blessed me more than I could have imagined.

Adversity!  We never welcome it, but we can embrace it when it comes.  And each time, we’re stronger and better for it.

Have an awesome evening with much love and many blessings!

Linda

POPULAR

Good morning everyone-Hope your Valentine’s Day last week was a very loving one, whether you spent it with special family members or a significant other!

Today, I’m asking you for some help.

What makes a blog entry popular?  I’m rather curious. 

Personally, I love reading about things that I can relate too.  Parenting, grand parenting, menopause, arthritis woes, cooking, baking, good books, et cetera….

There are weeks when I don’t know what I’m going to write about until I sit down and start typing.  Those weeks, I must admit, my original idea somehow does a complete 180, just because something else occurs to me while my fingers are flying across the keyboard.

Sometimes I feel as if I’m boring you, my beloved readers.  Too much talk of aches and pains and all that accompanies them.  Too much sentimental drivel about what’s going on within the confines of my own life.  And then there are the weeks when I’m feeling downright sarcastic and share my take by being downright cranky.

What I love to see is the reactions, or lack there of, on whatever I’ve chosen to share.

Since I post similar columns in a few places, I’m always amazed that where one site may have absolutely no comments, another one will have a couple of dozen or some will find a way to send me a personal e-mail!  I never know what will happen-and it’s the anticipation that makes the week interesting.  I love it!

When I’ve really thought long and hard about something and have worked on a particular entry-I’m wondering:  what will you all think? 

One of the most popular subjects I write about seem to be the ones where I discus my ever escalating age and the infirmities that have burgeoned because of it.  I’m imagining that it’s due to the fact that everyone of you out there is commiserating with my personal misery.  That or you all laughing at me.

Believe me, I’m not going to discus the latest (and what better be the last) medical procedure I went through-NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU ALL BEG!

The least read columns seem to be the ones that are ones on serious subjects.  Yes, I get some comments, but it’s as if all you wonderful readers come here to get away from dealing with the less than fun parts of the real world.

If a question is posed, more often than not-I get less of a response.  Is it because you like to keep me guessing?  Or am I becoming too aggressive in my own need to please you?

Now that I have been writing these columns for a good amount of time-I’d love to know which subjects do you enjoy popping in and taking a few moments away from your daily tasks and reading about?  Is there something you’d like me to touch base on or, like me, do you just like to see what I’ll come up with next?

Have an absolutely awesome day!

Carine Nadels

Tall Grass!  Have you ever walked through tall grass?

I mean really tall grass.  The kind that comes up to your waist or higher.  It’s not an easy task to get from where you are to where you’re going when getting there means walking through exceedingly tall grass.

Our steps are slowed and must be more steadied.  It requires we use more muscles of our bodies; nudging the blades with our elbows or hands to clear a broader path.

And it takes longer!  Longer to get from point “A” to point “B”.  It’s a laborous task.  And often we can’t see more than a few steps in front of us.  It seems we’ll never get where we’re going.

It can be scary at times!  One never knows what’s ahead, hidden among the tangled roots.  Just to keep moving causes our hearts to race.

Obviously, the “tall grass” is a metaphor for times in our lives when the going seems tougher than usual.  We start out on a new path - especially those of us who’ve entered the 2nd half of the journey - with great dreams and exciting expectations.

Then comes the “tall grass”!  It slows our pace and creates doubt, fear and a sense that what we thought was ahead might not be ahead after all.

It doesn’t matter where we are in our journey.  It doesn’t just relate to business or our profession.  It’s simply something that comes in life and often nothing we can do will change it.

From a spiritual perspective, I can think of many aspects of the “tall grass” metaphor that is contained in Scripture.  We’re cautioned to “weigh the cost before beginning the ‘battle’.  We’re encouraged to take all the proper tools for the job ahead so as not to be caught up short on the way.

And we’re told that “tall grass” is part of the ‘pruning’ process that ultimately makes us stronger, wiser, savvier.

As we begin this Monday morning, with all its challenges and opportunities, I want to encourage those of us who are walking through “tall grass” in life situations to keep walking. 

Keep ‘pushing ahead’!  If you took all the proper precautions and readied yourself for the journey; then at some point, the “tall grass” will give way to an open field with a clear line of sight in every direction - as far as the eye can see.

It usually comes just as we think we can’t take another step!  But it won’t come at all, unless we keep putting one foot in front of the other and move forward.

So promise yourself as you head out the door for the tasks of the day, that this is the day you will “keep on keepin’ on”.  Take a deep breath and know that with each step you take, you’re one step closer to the goal.

And there’s a ton a’ folks cheering you on.  You may not see us or hear us, but we’re here nonetheless.

I leave you with the words of a song that often runs across my mind - “I Can See Clearly Now”.  “I can see clearly now, the rain has gone.  I can see all obstacles in my way.  I see bright, bright sun shiny day.”

So don’t take the path of ‘least resistance’ today!  Don’t sit down amongst the “tall grass” in despair.  Walk on and make this the day you come to the clearing and see “bright, bright sun shiny day!”

Have an awesome one with much love and tender blessings.

Linda

I did it!

Yesterday, I took that break I recommended to all of you in yesterday’s blog talk.  It was awesome - just what I needed.  The weather was perfect for an Indiana February Saturday.  I wandered around Greenwood, Indiana looking for the Verizon Wireless store and finally landed at one of my favorite ‘haunts’ - Borders Booksellers!

The moment I walked through the big glass doors, I knew I was ‘home’.  Not literally, but in a place that felt comfortable, safe and warm!  I could have wrapped the atmosphere about me like a cloak. 

I had come to read one or two of the most recent books I bought, but the wandering Verizon store kept me wandering longer than planned.  So I browsed.  Feeling obligated to buy something in exchange for soaking up atmosphere, I headed for the music section.

“What was the name of the new British tenor I recently heard about,” I mused as I headed for the information center.

Now have you ever had a lapse of memory (could only remember “Russell”) and prayed quietly, “Lord, help me remember!”  As I tried several last names beginning with “W”, first name “Russell”, I prayed that quiet prayer of desperation.

Wha-la!  “WATSON”, that’s his name - Russell Watson.  Gee, I thought, how awesome to come to Borders with my Lord in tow!

While looking for the Watson CD, I ran across another favorite of mine - Michael Crawford (you know, the original phantom of the opera).  So I grabbed the Crawford CD and with a little help from a kindly associate, found more than one Watson CD. 

What a dilemna!  I wanted both of them, but for a brief moment (and I mean brief moment) I had pangs of frugality.  What the heck, I thought.  How often do I make the trip here and how often do I buy new CDs?

I tucked all 3 CDs (1 Crawford and 2 Watson) under my arm and headed for the business books.

“How do you spell Misner, Lord?”  I was again in front of the computer help desk looking for material by the networking guru, Ivan . . . .  I tried “Meisner” to no avail.  It must be “Meissner” - that didn’t work either.  Time for the quietly whispered prayer for memory help.  Suddenly, there it was - “MISNER”.

Thank God (and I mean that literally), the book I wanted was not in store, but could be ordered.  Smug as a bug in a rug, I headed confidently and courageously to the check out desk.  I ordered the Misner book, paid for my new CD’s and headed for the cafe’.

It’s now “Seattle’s Best Coffee” cafe’.  Okay I thought, I’ll give it a try.  To my utter delight, I found men and boys playing checkers and chess at several of the tables, while others had their heads into a laptop, book, magazine or newspaper.

I soaked up the scene, with its sights, sounds and delightful aromas as if I’d never been in such a delightful place in my entire life.  I wanted to stay until closing.  Having located the Verizon store, I paid for my double mocha somewhat-like-a-frappucino drink and sadly exited the big glass doors out into the real world.

What a culture shock! 

Well I found the Verizon store, drove around for 15-20 minutes finding parking space and then waited an hour for assistance only to be told (very kindly I might add) that I’d have to return with friend Harold in order to make an adjustment on the free - but horrible - new Verizon phones.

My day in ‘wonderland’ was at an end!

As I drove home realizing I had ’shot’ most of what might have been a very productive day, I reflected on the value of my experience.

I had indeed been productive!  Glenn, our wonderful webmaster and I had an AWESOME conversation earlier in the day that set my mental juices awhirl.  I was mentally very productive - so nothing lost there.

But what I really feasted on (besides the last fragments of a sinfully rich double mocha somewhat-like-a-frappucino) was how walking into one of my favorite spots on earth was like walking into a dream or vision - a fairy-tale.  I felt like an Alice in Wonderland character as I strode through the glass doors into an environment totally different from the busy parking lot from which I’d come.  Imagine, grown men and young boys actually relaxing at chess and checkers just like their early counterparts did in front of the old general store of a century-ago.

Everything I touched seemed like magic - the mystery of needing help and immediately it was there in my brain.  The rows and rows of books, and CD/DVDs, magazines, cards and gifts was like something out of a child’s fantasy. 

Even the sounds were different.  Soft, subtle, quiet!  People were courteous to each other (except for the young woman who took my book order).  It was very busy, but I felt like I was the only person in the store and that my presence went unnoticed by those who’d come to spend the day just ‘browsing’.

Yesterday was not something I do often.  In fact, I don’t do it often enough.  Big bookstores with cafe’s may not be your thing, but we all have that ’someplace’ that renews our soul and refreshes body and mind.  It’s good to go there - wherever it is - whatever it is!

I made a promise to myself upon my return to the mundane - with more energy and resolve I might add.  I promised that at least every month or two, I’m going to put on my ‘Alice in Wonderland’ cloak and head for the big glass doors of Border’s Bookstore and Cafe’. 

Who knows, some elderly gentleman might help me learn the fine art of chess!

Have an awesome Sunday with much love and considerable rich blessings!

Linda

It’s a good feeling to ‘kick-back’ and relax from five full days of energy-focused work - right?!

Well it should be.  But what I hear from women around the world is - “it ain’t necessarily so!”

It’s because we’re women that it ‘ain’t so’.  There’s the other side of life that requires not just a change of focus, but a different form of “energy-focused work”.

For instance, as I passed through the bedroom to my tiny office, I took a moment to strip the bedding and pile it at the top of the stairs so I could easily retrieve it when taking my next ‘break’ downstairs.  A simple task that took less than 5 minutes - but a “task” nonetheless.

Is there ever a time in our busy 2nd half of the journey lives when we don’t have some “task” to accomplish?  Even if it’s spending a few hours managing the household.

I guess I’m on this subject because of a conversation earlier in the week with a dear friend who has more on her plate than one can imagine.  No, she’s not yet employed outside the home since moving to another locale.  She’s unpacking from a move to a new home and unpacking her late mom’s home in another state.  Plus all that goes with the process of letting go of mom and reliving memories, etc.

Many of us in the 2nd half of the journey know the routine.  My friend called not so much to get my “wisdom” (her words not mine), but just to have someone she trusts to listen to the pain.

I don’t want to dwell on a ‘downer’ subject, but loss can be about loss of anything in our lives.  A job, a career advancement, a loved one, a dear friend, a marriage, an important relationship - anything.  Kids leaving home, moving away, parents aging, retirement looming on the horizon.

You know what it is?  It’s the loss of some sense of our own identity as child, sibling, friend, parent, spouse, significant other.  When it involves our career or future financial security; it’s a ‘dent’ in our esteem as well as the fear we feel for our financial future!

I said something similar, but less profound to my friend.  Knowing this lovely couple has plans for the weekend that would take them near the ocean; I suggested they take the extra time and head for ‘water’!  Any significant body of water has a calming effect - but the ocean is awesome.  It takes us out of ourselves and reminds us of how tiny we are in relation to a sea that stretches beyond our sight.  The sound of the water and waves almost lulls us to sleep.

Can’t you just picture it?  Walking along the beach with no sound but the waves crashing on the shore!

Have I wandered all over the place with this piece?  Probably, but not without some point in mind.

We all have challenges that we face from day to day - some more hefty than others.  And if that isn’t enough, we come ‘home’ to another set of challenges with different demands - but demands nonetheless.

I’ll give you the same piece of wisdom I gave my friend.  TAKE A BREAK!

Yes!  You can afford a ‘break’.  You can afford to walk away from whatever stares you in the face.  It’s what helps to keep life in some semblance of balance.  I’ve always believed that my heavenly Papa rested on the seventh day because He knows that everyone needs a break from creating or resolving.  There is a day we need to keep (w)holy.  Because it’s in our best interests to do so.

Well, not all of us are near the ocean!  Some of us are in cold climates (ugh) and staying home seems the best choice. 

So my weekend wisdom?  Whatever the climate, wherever you are on the planet; create your own break. 

Find a quiet place to read or listen to your favorite music.  Go to a movie or the mall just to browse and have a pleasant meal in a quiet spot that you love, but rarely do.  One of my favorite breaks is to head for one of the large chain bookstores that includes a caffe’.  I can spend the day, munching, reading, javaing and soaking up the atmosphere.

Whatever it is - wherever it is. DO IT!

Don’t waste another moment contemplating it - just plan it and then. . . . . GO!

Trust me, you won’t regret it.  And when you return, the ‘chores’ or ‘tasks’ that loomed so large and begrudgingly before you, will seem to have ’shrunk’ while you were away.

Who knows, you may even tackle them, whistling while you work!

Now, I’ve made a decision as I wrote this.  Tomorrow (or maybe later today), I’m going to take a break.  Gonna’ find that bookstore and soak up the music, food, java and whatever I can get my hands on to read. 

I hope my friends head for the ocean today or tomorrow.  I hope each of you who stop here to read a while, heed my advice.  Trust me, Monday will seem very different if today you went to the beach!  Even if the “beach” is a quiet spot with a good book and a cup of ‘java’ in hand.

Ah, I can sense it already!

Have an awesome break time with scads of love and mucho blessings!

Linda

Mike Litman is an awesome ‘coach’.  I get his daily encouragements in my crowded inbox and usually manage to read them at least every other day.

Yesterday’s had a link to his ‘blog’ and I saved it to add here today: http://www.mikelitman.com/blog/?p=45.

Mike talks a lot about success and greatness.  He made his money early on in direct sales, I think.  But I know that he hands out some pretty rich stuff that encourages me everytime I read it.

So thought I’d give you a chance to discover what Mike has to say and determine for yourself if its a resource for encouragement and empowerment.

After all, isn’t that what we’re about?  Certainly hope so.

Stay tuned and stay connected!

Linda

It must be the year for women!

At least it seems that way to me as I wander through the mail in my inbox.  Yesterday, I got a NAWBO newsletter and found the following link: http://www.womensfestivals.org/

It’s two festivals celebrating women.  Granted they’re out west (California and Arizona), so they are  probably something that will peak the interest of our west coast women.  But the point I make is that there is a ground swell of events honoring and celebrating WOMEN!

I had the feeling as we rolled into ‘08 that this was OUR year!  The year for AWP and it’s newly forming face to face neighborhood networks - Affiliated Women in the MarketPlace(tm). 

More than that, I had the feeling it is a year for women in general; but especially women of our ‘vintage’.  Women traveling and transitioning into and through the 2nd half of the journey.

Well I wasn’t wrong!

Today I’m meeting with one of our earliest AWP members (her website can be found under the “AWP MarketPlace” at Sparks Promotions).  Yep, we’ve finally found the time to sit at our favorite Panera and get down to business - hers and ours!

It’s important to share this because when we finally connected after sometime, she told me her Quick Books consulting has just blown out the roof!  Her comment?  “This is our year!”

Dear ‘Sisters’, it is our  year!  It is the year that women with some wisdom and maturity (regardless of chrono-age) will start to see daylight in whatever it is that they are passionate about.  Whatever is they’re purpose.  I feel it in the bones and I’m beginning to see it take place in earthly time.

It’s been there all the time!  But it’s now time for it to show up for all practical purposes.

When I saw the “Women’s Festivals”, I knew it.  I knew this is the year to start celebrating our accomplishments - our successes!

I knew it’s the year to come together - in community  and communities - and work together to make the difference we all want.   For ourselves, our families, our home communities and for a world that longs to have the feminine touch of sensitivity, tenderness, courage and strength.

It’s what we bring to the world - wherever our world happens to be!

So, let’s begin a celebration!  Let’s come together - wherever we are - and rejoice in the gifts we bring, the companionship we share and the awesome power to make a difference that is a part of our ‘destiny DNA’.

If you’re so inclined and the travel budget permits, you might check out the Women’s Festivals.  Sounds like fun.

Oh, who knows?  We may have our own “festival of women” at some point in the year of “great things” and “new beginnings”.

Until that point arrives, let’s unwrap the package we are and let our gifts shine.  Now when I think of it, is it any wonder that this is our year?

Not in my book, it isn’t.

Have an awesome day with much love and rich blessings!

Linda

This may not be the day to bring this subject to anyone’s attention!  But it’s been on my mind since early this a.m., so here goes:

Yesterday my daughter and delightful younger g’children were dutifully clearing my steps, walk and car from the winter snow and ice that hit Indiana earlier in the week.  I mentioned something about daughter’s husband.

Her response came as a surprise.  “Oh, he’s gotten so negative,” she said!  “He didn’t used to be that way, but now everything’s a downer this and downer that - I can’t take that!”

My response was that my friend Harold is much the same way and added that her sister’s husband can be negative as well.

“It’s a man thing,” I said with some glee I might add.

She went on to comment that it seems the older the two of them get, the more positive she becomes and he becomes less so.  Finally she asked if I thought it really is a “man thing”.

After they left, I mused over that brief verbal encounter and wondered - is it a man thing?

Are men, as they age, more likely to become negative about most everything?  I began to mentally checkout the men I know well to determine if I thought they were becoming more negative.  Yes, it seemed many of them have become so over the years.

Now if it’s the case that women traveling in the 2nd half of the journey become more positive and upbeat; and men become just the opposite, what does that say about the quality of our relationships?

Well I’m certainly not the resident expert on this matter, as no one can be more dour about matters at any age than I can.  However, it occurs to me that it may relate to ‘liberation’!

There’s something about being set free from child-bearing and child-rearing that is absolutely blissful!  As women who are sending the kids off to college or away in marriage, we can almost taste the hint of freedom  that awaits us as we drive out the college gates or watch our sons or daughters head for the honeymoon.

Life begins, I think, when “mom” can be herself again.  Not that those of us who are “moms” don’t relish being one.  It’s that being one full-time can often be the cause of negativity and feelings that somewhere along the path from birth to teenage - we lost our identity as a person - a woman.

We’ll always be mom.  But we won’t always have to be a mom, if you know what I mean.

It reminds me of my college days.  Pursuing the B.A. was a major chore and took loads of time, energy and focus.  Then graduation day came!  Of course, there was still that M.S. to complete, but compared to undergraduate studies, graduate school was a ‘piece of cake’. 

That’s what being mom after being a mom has ended seems like to me.

So what’s that say about the difference between men and women as we both enter the 2nd half of the journey.  Well, in my humble opinion, it has to do with our main focus and task of the early years of life resolving into being set free to pursue the things we’ve always wanted to do, but knew had to wait until “the kids are gone”.

Men, on the other hand, have been “at it” since day one (”I do” day).  And if their j.o.b. or career path is not all that pleasant, then a man may feel ’stuck’.  After all, there’s nothing liberating about being where one doesn’t want to be, but the money’s good.

Life has changed for us all.  But especially for men who used to think that they would retire from the same company they went to work for in their 20’s.  Or thought they knew what they wanted to do for the rest of their lives only now to find out it’s not.  And perhaps they feel ’stuck’.

Trust me, feeling ’stuck’ is pretty depressing and may account for aging males becoming less satisfied with life and therefore more inclined to be negative.

Imagine yourself relaying to a tired husband or male friend the excitement you feel about launching a brand new business that has been your burning passion for years.  You’re invigorated, energized and ‘pumped’ as the kids say.  WELL, he’s not ‘pumped’ and may feel a wee bit envious - all of which leads to negativity.

“Oh you don’t want to do that!”  Or, “how much will it cost?”  Or my favorite, “you wanna do what?”

Having mused on this subject simply because of a few off-hand comments by middle child, I feel somewhat ’smug’.  If I were not a ‘recovering therapist’, I’d probably use this new found wisdom to help a struggling woman understand her husband’s lack of enthusiasm and reluctance to help her launch a new venture.

How wonderful that I can place it here!  Perhaps one of you or one of our many visitors will stumble upon this conversation and be enlightened. 

I know it may sound as if I’m again being ‘anti-male’ and trust me, I love males (not all of them of course).  But there is that inherent difference between the genders and I think women are discovering their ‘liberated’ selves and actually enjoying traveling the 2nd half of the path.

So when the love of your life - spouse or significant friend - is less than eager to clean ice from the steps or some other mundane chore; go easy.  If he isn’t particularly interested in hearing the latest “ah ha” of your liberation years - don’t let it get you down.

My motto is this:  share everything you need to share at least once.  Write it in your journal with the date you told him.  Then just do what you need to do.  When he says “you didn’t tell me you were going to do that” - you have your journal entry to prove you did!  

When the first check comes or the first recognition or the “first” whatever it is comes, trust me, he’ll be proud as punch!

Well, maybe it wasn’t the wrong time to share this, it being Valentine’s Day and all.  Anything I can do to bridge the gender gap is a job well done - whenever it’s done.

That’s all for today!  Have an awesome Valentine’s evening with great love and rich blessings.

Linda