We’ve begun sharing about ‘integrity’ and discovered that one important aspect of ‘integrity’ is honesty!  Honesty with self and others.  Honesty in our dealings with others whether family, friends, co-workers, employers or customers.

Today I want to focus on ‘integrity and strategic honesty’. 

What in the world is that, you might ask.  “Strategic honesty” is a term I coined some years ago when having to deal with ‘knotty’ situations in the health care setting.  As a senior manager, I had to find creative means to deal with physicians, administrators, families, other department heads and my own staff.  Sometimes being totally “up front” honest was definitely not the way to go!  Yet my growing personal and professional integrity demanded honesty.

Digressing briefly, when we’re younger, we often don’t have the courage or the self-knowledge it takes to reach the level of integrity we grow into with the coming of the 2nd half of the journey.  Sometimes, I think it was easier in those days since it wasn’t something we may not have even noticed.

As we mature and personal-professional integrity becomes more important, the situations don’t necessarily change, but our response to them demands more of us - because we have changed!

So what is strategic honesty?  It’s those times when to be totally and unabashedly honest would be devastating to another or to the situation we encounter.  It’s a time when we must be carefully ’strategic’ in how honest we are with another.  One of the greatest lessons we learn as we move into the 2nd half of the journey is what to tell and what not to tell.  If what we tell won’t make a situation better - then it’s better not to tell it!

Perhaps the following example is helpful:  some dear folks I knew (now deceased) were sharing continuously over the few days before the husband’s death.  It was important to him to get everything “off his chest” before leaving earth and his beloved wife.  One of the things he told was a incident that occurred a ton-load of years before while they were young.  It was a ’shocker’, but he felt a need to share it all.  I only learned of this aspect of their long intimate conversations a few years later.  I wondered “was it absolutely necessary to have been that honest?”  “Was she hurt?”  “Was it difficult to lose him and a sense of innocence that had lasted well over 50 years?”  It was important to him and it maintained his integrity, but at whose expense?

When speaking the truth - our truth - it isn’t always necessary to speak it all.  Speaking with integrity in complicated situations demands thoughtful reflection and strategic planning so as to keep everyone’s integrity intact.

I’m speaking here as the ‘expert’, but trust me, I’m not.  I haven’t learned how to do it that well myself.  It takes considerable practice.  I once told a client to write down what she wanted to say - write it all down.  Then go back and edit out what wasn’t necessary in order to be true to self and others.

In a work setting with employees, supervisors or customers, the same holds true.  It’s somewhat like what Jack Webb on ‘Dragnet’ used to say, “Just the facts Maam!”  Sometimes that’s all that’s needed and if feelings need to be expressed, then the simpler the explanation - the better!

So being strategically honest is speaking only that aspect of the truth that is necessary to resolve the current situation and withholding what won’t improve a situation and may even make it worse.  Strategic honesty requires taking a step back and a deep breath.  It requires pre-assessment; rehearsal and then action.

Finally, for me and perhaps for you as well, if there’s peace in the ‘gut’, then we’ve probably been true to our integrity.  If the other person has a similar level of peace - then most likely we’ve learned strategic honesty!

At least for the moment!

Have an awesome day with much love and many blessings!

  Linda

Thanks to Peg Stookey, AWP team member for yesterday’s excellent post calling us to action as we approach the end of another year!  Her ‘call’ reminds me of the number of conversations we’ve had here relative to ‘reflection’ - the ‘art’ of looking-back or over what has transpired and using what we ‘discover’ or learn as the foundation for where we decide to go in the future - even if the future is as simple as ‘tomorrow’!

Sunday, I began a conversation around ‘integrity’.  What Webster defines the word to mean; adding my own interpretation to the dictionary definition.

As my Heavenly Papa would have it, Willy has a piece that you’ll find tomorrow via the AWP BUZZ and one of the sentences is on ‘integrity’.  Basically, she identifies integrity with ‘honesty’.  “I am honest because I have integrity”.

What if my honesty is around anger or frustration or hurt, fear, doubt, grief?  What then?  How do I express what is happening in my inner world; being true to my own integrity, in a way that permits another’s integrity to remain intact?

I’m here to say, “it ain’t easy!”

I’ve gone here today because - you guessed it - I’ve been dealing with all of the above what we call ‘negative’ feelings that consistently bubble to the surface as emotions, that for the most part must stay below the surface!  To allow ‘emoting’ would surely injure relationships and create more havoc than I’m willing to deal with.

As a committed Christian woman, to permit the boiling inner world to surface for others to experience is not the way to go.  Even though to do so would be maintaining my ‘integrity’.

A point I often make with women is that before we came to a level of belief or faith - we first became ‘human’!  And humans have feelings and emotions.  They are neither ‘good’ nor ‘bad’ - it’s what we do with them that allows us to place an adjective upon them! 

Life is going to throw us its curves and usually they come because there’s something to be learned while we’re cruisin’ through the curve.  The key for me is to learn how to ‘cruise’ while keeping my integrity intact (remaining true to me and honest with myself) and that of the other(s).

Here’s a few tips I’ve learned along the way as relates to dealing with the not so pleasant ‘curves’ in life: (1) don’t offer advice to another unless you are specifically asked to do so.  If you hear what you think might be a veiled request for such; ask the question, “are you asking for my advice?”  If the answer is “yes”, then you have permission to give input!  (2) always try to use the ’sandwich’ approach!  A dear late colleague of mine taught me this years ago.  I’m still not adept at it, but when I’m coming from my head instead of a wounded ‘gut’, I have gotten fairly proficient.  It works thusly; when there is something ‘tough’ that needs to be communicated in order to remain true to one’s integrity - start the conversation with a positive (i.e., “I really appreciate when you . . . .”).  Then add the ‘meat’ of the sandwich which is the heart of the problem.  Try to speak it in “I” statements rather than “you” statements.  And finally, end the conversation with another positive!  Something I’ve done, when my head is clear, is end with words similar to “our relationship is too important to me to have hurt and pain that over time will damage it and us!”

The above suggestions allow me to maintain my integrity by owning what is going on in my inner world and permits the other (or others) to maintain theirs.  Oftentimes, others don’t realize that their words or deeds have caused pain. 

Ah there is so much to this subject and as most of you know by now, I could write on and on!  But enough for today so that I save the rest for the rest of the week.

I do want to add that one of the distinctions I’ve noticed between women in the 1st half of the journey and those who’ve entered the 2nd half, is an awareness that integrity is a must!  Things that might have slipped by either unnoticed or without import attached, can no longer be ‘business as usual’ because personal and professional integrity are suddenly more important than the sale, or the new business opportunity or whatever the case may be.

Thus, my decision to go with conversations on integrity for the week.

Have an AWESOME day with integrity and much love in life!

  Linda

Dr. Frederick Price wrote an article that appeared on today’s Streaming Faith Devotional.  He wrote about “integrity”.

I’ve written here on the subject of integrity, but not at any great length.  It’s a word we use a lot and often don’t stop to think through what such a powerful word as “integrity” really means.  Even more than that, we seldom realize why it’s a word that fits those of us who are ‘chronologically maturing’ and have made the mental-emotional ’shift’ into the 2nd half of the journey.

I’ve always understood integrity to mean whole or wholeness.  Webster’s New Collegiate defines it as “an umpaired condition” and the “quality or state of being complete or undivided” (completeness).  In my book (excuse the pun) that translates into a state of being whole.  In plain language, it’s “what you see is what you get”!  Better said, it relates to who I am internally is who I am externally. 

I’m true to ‘me’ and when you encounter me, you get ‘me’!  Me with all my imperfections, areas of incompleteness as well as those aspects of ‘me’ that have made it!  Are whole and together and in perfect unity!

Have you met such a person before?  A person who is so genuine, so real, so transparent and honest that you instanty, instinctively know ‘them’ and expect complete honesty and openness out of them at all times!

I have!  And what a joy when those folks cross the paths of our lives and bring meat and meaning that might otherwise never have been discovered.

What blows me away is an aspect of being the same internally as externally in the lives of those whose “integrity” does not lead to the betterment of those around them.  The criminal who is criminal inside as well as outside.  Paraphrasing something Jesus said about can’t get good fruit from a rotten tree!

I point this out because integrity has come to take on the positive aspect of being a ‘whole’ person without realizing that one can be true to one’s inner motivations as expressed externally and not be one who contributes to the common good. 

A person of real integrity, as we’ve come to define it, is someone whose ethics and actions meet the highest societal standards for doing right and good,  because she IS ethical at the core of her being!

I don’t think we begin to achieve a level of ‘integrity’ (becoming an integrated person) until we’ve come to a certain ‘age’ - whether it corresponds with crossing the ‘40′ divide or transitioning across a mental-emotional divide that takes a different perspective on life!

It has been my experience and that of many women whose stories I’ve heard over the years, that integration out of which integrity is devised, needs time, patience and some life experiences - both positive and not-so-positive from our personal perspective.  It takes emotionally and psychologically assessing those experiences; distilling their essence and meaning, before we can let go of what’s unnecessary and hone-up what is necessary and important if we are to be comfortable ‘in our own skin!’

It’s seems a good subject for a ‘Sunday Subjects’ conversation.  The day of the week that most of us take time to express our faith in the venue in which we feel most comfortable.  The stories that come to us from Scripture are all about men and women who moved from fragmented inner lives and messy outer lives to a wholeness and completeness that accomplished great things according to the purpose for which they were called.  A purpose that demanded of them a sense of wholeness or completeness or ‘integrity’.

I’ll continue this conversation next week.  Our Monday blog team member, Peg Stookey, will take over tomorrow and I appreciate having her add her knowledge, wisdom and expertise to our daily conversations!

Until them, have an AWESOME day of rest with much love and many blessings!

  Linda

I’m not planning a lengthy post today as the weather in east central Indiana is awesome!  Bright sunshine with nary a cloud to be seen!  Warm, but not uncomfortable and the kind of weather you want to soak up because you know it won’t last much longer!

Besides, who wants to get onto serious subjects when it’s mid-Saturday afternoon at the heighth of autumn.

Yesterday, I talked briefly about how as we grow more ‘chronologically mature’, we leave what we consider “non-essentials” behind to focus on what seem to be the more important things of life.

Like ‘housework’ kind of items (dusting, sweeping, mopping, etc.).  If you’re like me, you don’t have someone you pay to do it for you.  That’s a luxury I’ve rarely had in my life, but one I may take up soon!

For me, there’s something about days like today that encourage me to get on with the things that make home - home!  One of the things I did a few hours ago was to chit-chat with a neighbor as she laid stones around her newly implanted yard pond.  Spending time in that way is a rarity for me and something my Mom used to do all the time, especially on weekends after my Dad died.  I never thought I’d find myself doing the same thing.

But there I was ‘wasting time’ conversing across the lawns as if I had nothing else at all to do.  Laundry was in the washer and dryer; bed beckoned for clean linens; and the sweeper sat in the dining room waiting for me to come ‘callin’.

Sometimes, it’s good just to idle away time.  Time is precious and the one life commodity we can’t truly redeem.  But then friendships and someone to ‘jaw’ with, as my father-in-law used to say, is somewhat a rare commodity these days as well.

What’s interesting about all this is that once I came inside, the laundry quickly went from one machine to the other; the linens went quickly onto the bed and a sense of quiet accomplishment crept in.  I might even get the swiffer out and clean the carpet as well.

It’s amazing what a beautiful clear autumn day will do to invigorate one’s mind and body!

Hope wherever you are, the day is beautiful and you have time to ‘waste’ on friends and loved ones!

Have an awesome weekend with much love and many blessings!

  Linda

Here we are again!  At the end of another week and I’m astounded at how fast the days are swirling toward another year’s end.  Soon it will be that wondrous of wondrous time we call the holiday season.  We’ve come to call it that because so many of the world’s religious traditions celebrate something significant at the same time of the year - late November through December.  For Christians, it’s the Christmas holiday season!

And that’s as far as I’ll go with that for today!  It’s Friday and once we close the door on offices around the world, we head for home (or someplace else in our homes that is not an office) and two days of doing something else!

What do we do?  What chores do we accomplish that don’t get done during the busy work week?  How do we relax and allow the stress of a work week to leave our bodies and minds?

What I’ve learned over the years is that what I once thought absolutely essential to accomplish isn’t so essential after all!

Like dusting, sweeping, sorting the piles of paper that pile up even though we live in a supposed paperless world!  I’ve even learned that I don’t have to do laundry every day!  Don’t have to put the skimpy pile of whites in the machine daily. 

The greatest lesson I’ve learned is that I don’t have to make apologies to anyone who might venture to ‘call’ without first determining if it’s okay with me to ‘call’ at my door!

I don’t have to satisfy the idiosyncracies of others who may clean, cook, manage a household differently than I!  So what they bake cakes from what we used to call “scratch”.  I don’t unless I have time to engage in an artform.

I don’t have to say “I’m sorry, but I didn’t have time to dust this week!”  It’s my house and if I don’t mind the slight gray film that lines an antique desk or the bench that has been passed from child to child and back to me - then why should they!

I’ve long since ceased to count the number of women one woman can tell about my dusty furniture and feel that old clutching in the ‘gut’ that says, “oh what will they say about me!”

As we move from season to season; through transition to transition, I think we shed our concerns about what others think or say about us.  In the grand scheme of things - does it really matter?

Isn’t it more important that they speak of us as women of integrity (the “what you see is what you get” comment)?  Wouldn’t I rather hear that someone said I can be “trusted” with what is important to others? 

Isnt’ it good to hear women we barely know mention something kind about our children or grandchildren even though dust is gathering on that table in the hallway as we speak?

Well, Linda, why go to this conversation on a Friday? 

I don’t know, except that the last day of a work week has it’s own special significance and sense of accomplishment.  It’s a day when we can look over the “to-do” lists we made a week ago and feel pleased with how much we were able to ’scratch-off’ that list!  It’s a day when we can close notebooks, computers, memos, checkbooks and all the other asundry things that line our desks.  It’s the day we can empty the ‘trash can’. . . . and head for home!

Even if ‘home’ is just around the corner and down the stairs! 

I’m headed to a meeting in the city this afternoon and a short visit with a dear friend.  I’m sure that as I drive on this beautiful warm fall day, I’ll reflect on how much was done this week toward the goals I set!

I think I might even try to ‘empty the trash can’ of the ‘not-so-pleasant-things’ of the week.

Here’s hoping two things for you today: 1) that you arrive at a point where dust gathering is less important than gathering with friends and loved ones, and 2) your work week ‘trash can’ is empty!

 Have an AWESOME AWP weekend filled with much love and many blessings!

  Linda

This is what it’s all about!  So there to all those who snicker when I say I’m going to start my EDd next year at the ripe young age of 69+!  Read and enjoy! 

Rose’s first day of school!
 
The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned round to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, “Hi handsome. My name is Rose.
I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?”

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, “Of course you may!” and she gave me a giant squeeze.

“Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?” I asked.

She jokingly replied, “I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple o f kids…”

” No seriously,” I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

“I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!” she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.

We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this “time machine” as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went.

She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet.

I’ll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, “I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.”

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, “We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.

There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.

We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!

There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.

If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.

Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets.

The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.”

She concluded her speech by courageously singing “The Rose.”

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.

At the year’s end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s never too late to be all you can possibly be.

When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they’ll really enjoy it!

These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.

REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.

We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give.

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

“Good friends are like stars………You don’t always see them, but you know they are always there.”

THE TASK AHEAD OF YOU, IS NEVER AS GREAT AS THE POWER BEHIND YOU!

What encouraging words!!!

  Linda

Yesterday I talked about the leadership skills of Moms!  Today I want to talk about grown up friendships with our adult children!

One of  my greatest joys has been the friendships I enjoy with my daughters who are now adults.  It seems that what separated us as parent-child has melted away with time and now we relate to each other as adult to adult.  And that’s great!

I raised them to be exceedingly independent.  Two of them were still children when their father died and so we went through the ‘teenage’ years as a house full of just women.  A dear friend who, at the time, was an assistant pastor in town, used to call our house, “Linda’s nunnery!”  And I guess it was somewhat like that.  Talks that began around the dining table that lasted well into the night and the giggles of ‘girls’ sharing some tidbit that usually ended up with my saying, “I didn’t know that!”

There independence made me proud.  I also told them that once they married and had children, their husbands and family came first!  And they’ve followed that advice to the “T”!

Not that when there’s a ‘crisis’ we aren’t there for each other - we are!  But in the day to day routine of life, they do what is necessary to maintain their house, their husbands and their children.  In fact, they’re soooo independent that I often don’t communicate with the middle child, who lives a scant 3 blocks from me, for weeks.  Seasons roll by without hearing from eldest child who is taking their daughter through her last year in high school!

Sometimes, I wish I hadn’t been so rigid about what comes first in life!  Sometimes, I think maybe I should have been more the ‘clinging-vine’ kind of mom.  And then one of them gives me a card for a special occasion that tells me how appreciative she is of her ‘mom’ - just the way I am.

In preparation for writing about this thought today, I reflected on how the transition from MOM to adult friend transpired!  I can’t put my mental finger on any particular moment or season in which it came about.

It just happens!  At some point, they become adults!  Adults with their own lives and circle of friends; children and all that goes with parenting.  And suddenly they come to you with questions that start with “Mom, was it like this or that when we were growing up?”

There are the times we’ve gone shopping at the holidays and I tend to packages and purses while they dash from store to store picking up those prized items on each child’s list!  And then the “ah” moment of the day when we sit down at a favorite restaurant with plenty of time to spare and just talk, talk, talk!  I find it more fun just to listen and inwardly smile when I hear comments like, “I know I’m gonna’ get paid back, I just know it!”  That usually comes because one child or another has pulled something similar to what daughter pulled when she was that age!

Ah, how sweet the memories!  And how sweet that they are now adults.

The conversations are different and more often than not, my opinion counts for something!  And invariably, the talk turns to reminiscing over the times when they were young, and Daddy was still living and the funny (and not so funny) things that happened.

It’s great when they grow up!  It’s great that they took my advice and lead very independent lives that leave just enough distance as not to manipulate or control.

It’s great that they feel the freedom to ride a bicycle with young g’daughter the 3 blocks to g’ma’s house to check on the goldfish and sit a spell on the backporch.

I started this conversation because I wanted to give each of you some wisdom gems about creating great grown up friendships with our adult children.  But it turned out to be a trip down nostalgia lane. 

Hopefully my trip in that direction is a source of encouragement for each of you who have children maturing into adulthood with whom you can now treasure the freedom and joy of grownup adult relationships.

It doesn’t need any special wisdom or words of advice.  I think for those of us who are Moms, it just sort of comes naturally and the transition from “mom” as “parent” to “mom” as “friend” is one of life’s most sacred seasons!

 If that’s where you’ve transitioned at this point - savor the season and treasure grown up friendships with children who’ve grown to adulthood. 

And be grateful we’ve survived the process!

Have an awesome day with much love and many blessings!

  Linda

Leadership!  Wow, it’s one of the most talked about phenomenon of the late 20th and early 21st centuries!  It started, I think, with John Maxwell’s classic publication, “The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership!”

I’m not going to try to define leadership here in either the manner of Maxwell or of any other ‘leadership guru’!  For me, leadership is having the qualities and character of someone I want to follow!  Someone whose style and method energizes me to go beyond where I am even though the risk may seem great and the ‘pitfalls’ many!

I want to talk about the “leadership skills of Moms” in today’s conversation.

What, you don’t think you have any?  You’re writing a resume to return to the work world and haven’t any work experience, outside the home, for at least 15 years or more - and “who will want to hire me with this kind of background!”

I can hear it now.  The sighs and moans of regret that having been ‘just a homemaker’ and stay-at-home mom evokes when women seek to return to the marketplace after years of absence only to think they have nothing an employer would want!

I want to focus on the leadership skills of a MOM!  Because it’s just skills that any employer worth working for would be thrilled to have in his or her company!

Let me preface a few remarks on the subject with this:  any woman who has successfully managed a home, a husband and children has leadership skills out the ‘wazoo’!  Chief among them is the ability to multi-task on a continual basis; so much so that she has it down to a fine science!  Any woman who balances the family checkbook, feeds, clothes, launders, organizes, manages and stays ’sane’ in the process has tremendous LEADERSHIP skills!

“Leadership” has less to do with skills and more to do with personality and qualities of character and integrity.  It has to do with our ability to work with others in an encouraging way that builds up and supports the work of others in positive ways.

Ask yourself if the following is true of you:  1) you’re often asked to serve on committees or chair events because those who ask tell you they need your leadership; 2) do younger women tend to populate your circle of close friends and oten ask your advice on a number of varied topics; 3) does it seem that others are drawn to you because of your warmth, personality, character and ability to uplift others around you; and 4) does your family (husband, children, parents and other close relatives) often praise you for who you are and what you do to enrich their lives (they may not say so in words, but in actions and things they say to others about you).  Do your children listen to you - even your ‘pesky’ teenagers who’d rather die than be known to acknowledge that Mom may be right about anything!

If even one or two of the above is common in your life - then you are a leader!  You have what it takes to direct others in a way that invites them to follow you because they trust where you will take them.

What I’ve so often found with folks whose leadership skills and qualities I admire is that they rarely recognize those qualities in themselves.  Leaders seem innately able to take us where we want to go or maybe, more importantly, where we don’t want to go, but are willing because of who is at the head of the pack!

Today’s assignment (hummm, I’ve fallen into my ‘teaching’ trap!) is to write down the qualities you see in others that make them a good leader.  Who do you follow at work, or in organizations of which you are a member?  What sets them apart as a leader, as someone you want to follow or work with or ask for advice or seek their company?

Write down those qualities you see in yourself that makes you a leader.  Ask yourself the questions above to determine your leadership abilities.

And finally, if you’re a MOM, ask your spouse, children and parents how they see you as a leader.   Take their answers seriously and then write them down in your journal.

Who knows, you may need them for that resume or bio you plan to write for the next step in the journey - back into the marketplace or to the next rung on your professional ladder of success!

Have an AWESOME AWP day with much love and many blessings!

  Linda

A friend is promoting another female candidate for President of the USA!  So who’s for “MAXINE for PRESIDENT!”  The following is what I believe must be the bases of Maxine’s platform!  Core values Maxine?

Very eloquently put … don’t you think?

Maxine on “Driver Safety”. “I can’t use the cell phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.”…

Maxine on “Housework” “I do my housework in the nude. It gives me an incentive to clean the mirrors as quickly as possible.”

Maxine on “Lawn Care” “The key to a nice-looking lawn is a good mower. I recommend one who is muscular and shirtless.”

Maxine on “The Perfect Man” “All I’m looking for is a guy who’ll do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want, and then go away. Or wait nearby, like a Dust Buster, charged up and ready when needed.”

Maxine on “Technology Revolution” “My idea of rebooting is kicking somebody in the butt twice.”

Maxine on “Aging” “Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a Margarita.”

“I’m telling you … she’s the perfect candidate.”

“The only two things we do with greater frequency in middle age are urinate and attend funerals .”

“The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.”

“To err is human; to forgive, highly unlikely.” [at least not easy sometimes]

“Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have millions of old ladies running around with tattoos and pierced navels?? (Now that’s scary!)”

“Money can’t buy happiness–but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than a Kia.”

“After a certain age, if you don’t wake up aching somewhere … you may be dead.”

I love this!!!

  Linda

I’m full of differing messages this morning and that’s always a ‘dangerous’ place for me to be!  ‘Dangerous’ because I tend to ramble from one message to the next and leave members and visitors confused and most likely somewhat “dazed”.

I’ve been thinking about our lengthy conversations around passion, purpose and the place we hope to land - position.  We’ve covered a lot of ground with passion and purpose and today I want to make some meaningful connections (at least I hope they’re meaningful)!

First let me say that our community of women covers a broad age span - from 40ish to late 60’s or more!  The needs, desires, interests and dreams of women in their 40’s may be very different than those of us who are ‘pre-boom’!  It’s difficult to cover such a broad age range with relevance for our ‘now’ needs.

But discovery of passion(s) that lead to purpose is relevant for all of us - regardless of our chronological age!

There are, from my perspective, a number of pieces that are relevant for us all - at any age. 

First, our passions change over time.  But what motivates us remains the same.  The direction our passions take us will always connect in some way with what is our primary motivator. 

Passions change because times change!  An example: when I was a much younger mom, I had little or no passion for the safety of children.  Because it was rare, or at least I thought it rare, that our children were in precarious situations.  But now, it’s different.  And I’m passionate about keeping our children safe - whether it’s in their own homes or in society in general!  But that passion is not my ultimate destiny or purpose.  I can support organizations that do a much better job than I at raising awareness of the need to protect our children and answer the call of that particular passion for me.

And I believe purpose changes over time as well.  Some may not agree, but I believe that our purpose may be different with the changing seasons of our lives! 

If we are women of faith in the Christian tradition, our ultimate purpose is to share the Good News!  Share it in a way that others are attracted to what it is we have that they want or need!  From my perspective, that’s a universal ‘call’ on each of our lives.

But how we do that will differ from woman to woman!  And it will come out of our particular passion or passions we have at any given season of our lives.  

I also am convinced that when we discover our destiny-design, where we ‘land’ (position) will fulfill an overriding passion and meet our purpose ‘head on’!

And in that ‘place’, we will be provided opportunities to accomplish the ultimate purpose for which we are here!

I believe that some of us come to the ‘place’ vicariously - without knowing or understanding how we got here.  But now that we’re here, we feel fulfilled.  There is a sense of peace, joy, contentment - a feeling that we’ve ’succeeded’!

First, I think we must define “success” for ourselves.  What spells ’success’ for me won’t be the same as yours and yours won’t be the same as another.

Now we’ve added another ‘layer’ to our learning.  If it were put on a graph - it might look something like this:  (a) what motivates me is an innate desire to discover the truth (meaning, ultimate design, etc.) in whatever comes my way; (b) over the years that primary motivation has led me to work with others to help them achieve a new level of greatness that they didn’t know they had; (c) in the 2nd half of the journey, the passion for being a resource and catalyst for other’s growth and development turned to ‘women’; (d) I discovered that I had an equally strong skill-set to match the passion, the purpose and the ‘place’ where the purpose can be lived out in a way meaningful for me; (e) as the journey of discovery and learning progressed, I discovered that one position is in the virtual world (I say “one” because position need not be time and space limited as once it was); and (f) another piece of discovery and learning is that “success” for me is not only measured in financial terms, but in finding ‘my place‘ in the grand scheme of things.

But lest anyone think I’m ‘done’, I know that I’m not and that the passion(s), purpose(s), position(s), place(s) and successes will continue to evolve.  And it will do so because it’s a process through which we all must go if we are to get to our destiny-design.

I’ve used me as an example because that’s obviously easiest for me to do.  However, when you enter upon the discovery process, you will see similarities between my example and your own.  You can look at the layers of discovery and learning that I’ve evolved from and into and use them as the ‘underlay’ for your own.

In closing this conversation, I want to encourage each of you to ’scratch the inner itch’ if that’s where you’ve come in the 2nd half of the journey!  Remembering that chronological age is not an issue - never was and is not now!  Let me point to an analogy that just came to me. 

We all love those little ’scratch-off’ cards we get about this time of the year from McD’s or similar businesses!  What fun to take a coin and slowly scratch off the covering to reveal what we hope is a winning number or combination. 

The process for us as we continue the journey is much like that.  It’s ’scratching off’ the ‘covering’ to reveal the next layer of life with its combinations, directions or veiled revelations. 

I used to throw those little cards away without taking time to ’scratch off’ in order to see what lie beneath.  I no longer do that - just in case there’s a winning combination hidden in secret ‘just below the surface’.

If the ‘itch’ is there, do a little ’scratching’ today and see what’s just under the surface that is the next ‘clue’ to your path through the 2nd half of the journey!

Have an AWESOME AWP day with much love and many blessings!

  Linda