Each evening and early a.m., I make a list of items that I think will make good blog posts, as well as articles for other online publications.  On my list, I’d written “choosing our friends wisely”.  After today’s great breakfast with old and dear friends my age and reading Kathy’s great article on age & attitude, I decided I wanted to write about making wise choices in friends!

Those of you who know me well and those who are coming to know me - know that I don’t think about “age”.  I even coined the term ‘chronologically mature’ to use instead of such atrocious phrases as “golden-agers” and “senior citizens” (ugh, ugh).  I don’t know that I’m all that fond of “baby boomer” either!  And I absolutely despise the word “old“!  Especially when someone my age says to me “we’re old”.  Last time it happened, I quipped back, “speak for yourself!”  The ‘bod’ may be moving in forward motion, but the head is not there yet - and will probably go kicking, yelling and screaming!

Most of the women with whom I have close friendships are at least 20 years my junior - some more than that.  In fact, it always comes as a shock when I realize that I have friends younger than two of my three daughters.  And I don’t think of them as ‘daughters’ - I think of them as friends!

Now why would I suggest that we use wisdom in picking friends?

I remember when my mom was so particular about the girls (and guys) with whom I was friends growing up.  And with good reason.  She didn’t want me picking up attitudes and behaviors that were not in my best interests.

Well, I think the same is true when we reach mid life and enter into the 2nd half of the journey.  My experience has been that at some point on the path - the women around us begin to ’sprint’ at different speeds toward the end of the road.  Those who do, often want the rest of us - to join them there.  Whether it’s an attitude challenge or health-related challenge or a cultural thing that says, “when one reaches a certain age - one must be “old”.

I beg your pardon!  No, I don’t have to be any such thing as that! 

And what I find is that when I hang out MORE THAN OCCASIONALLY with folks who insist that I join them in “old age” - I come home depressed; weary; thinking “old”.  My usual mental image of myself as a slender, gorgeous, agile 35 year old blonde bombshell is shattered!

Seriously,  mid-life has enough challenges and stressors without adding folks to our social mix that insist we’ve one leg in the ‘grave’.  Just because the hormones may have stopped ‘charging’ (or maybe they’re charging more than normal) and concepts (excuse the pun) of productivity change - does not mean that life has passed us by or that we “must decide” to lose our vim and vigor for what can be the most exciting time of our lives!

So, choose wisely those with whom you spend much of your time.   I’m not suggesting that you scrap friendships that are eons old - just that you be the ‘youthful babe’ at the table.   I encourage you to find new friends - male and female - younger than you.  Folks who share similar interests and perspectives, as well some new and different perspectives that keep our mental cells ‘charging’.

Have I ‘preached’ long enough?  Yes, I guess so.  I just hate to see vibrant, brilliant women make the choice (and trust me it often is just that - a choice) to play old or be old when in reality they are simply growing more “chronologically mature!”

My mom was right back then!  And she’s still right!

Choose wisely and when you can’t - wisely choose to stuff cotton in your mental ears!

Have an AWESOME day!

  Linda

Another great email from my theater friend.  I admire a mom who would think of this kind of resolution to a sticky situation!  This shall be our chuckle for the day! 

“Jennifer’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement — not even her parents’ nasty divorce.

Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!

A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father’s new young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother!

Jennifer asked her step mom to exchange it, but she refused. 

 ”Absolutely not. I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I’m wearing it,” she replied.

Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, “Never mind sweetheart. I’ll get another dress. After all, it’s your special day.”

A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress.

When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, “Aren’t you going to return the other dress? You really don’t have another occasion where you could wear it.”

Her mother just smiled and replied, “Of course I do, dear. I’m wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.”

NOW I ASK YOU - IS THERE A WOMAN OUT THERE, ANYWHERE, WHO WOULDN’T ENJOY THIS STORY? SEND IT TO EVERY WOMAN YOU KNOW !!!!

I just returned from breakfast with two of my best women friends in the entire world!

How long have I known them?  Would you believe at least 51 years - or more! 

Yep, we were classmates in school, some of us since grade school.  And it’s absolutely so refreshing to be with these two vibrant “pre-boomer” women whose chrono age may seem ‘ancient’ to some, but attitude-age is that of a “spring chicken”!

We covered everything from politics to our commonly held faith.  We laughed heartily (something I don’t do enough) - and it was so enjoyable, that I picked up the tab!

On a brief serious note - all three of us have had our share of life’s downs, but an amazingly amount of it’s UPS!  In fact, they shared how after not-so-good first marriages - they found wonderful mates the ’second time around’ (isn’t that what the song says, “love’s more beautiful the 2nd time around”).

We don’t get together often.  That’s because we are all so darn busy.  Two of us have businesses and the other is ‘retired’ but you’d never know it!

How sweet are those times when we can kick back, relax and just enjoy each other. 

I can hardly wait for the next ‘Breakfast Club’ meeting!

Now, it’s off to get some curls and a hair trim!  What fun!

Have an AWESOME day!

  Linda

This GREAT article comes to us from Kathy Holmes (see info box at bottom of post) as published in www.ezinearticles.com.  She expresses so much of what I have been saying for the last several years and a lot recently in my comments here!  What a confirmation I feel just knowing another “chronologically mature” woman sees life with me from the same viewpoint!  Read her article below and send her a “thank you” from AWP!  I will.

“It’s Not the Age - It’s the Attitude” by Kathy Holmes.

Some people think there’s a negative connotation to the word “attitude.” You hear it when they say,”My she has an attitude” or “You need an attitude adjustment,” for example. With the new contemporary women’s fiction being dubbed “fiction with attitude,” some authors want to point out that “it’s the fiction with the attitude-not the author.”

Attitude is Just How You See Things

My dear sweet grandmother, who married at 15 and raised 6 sons alongside my grandfather, was quoted as saying, “Attitude is just how you see things.” She was much-loved and had an opinion on everything. After my grandfather passed away, ever the possibility-thinker, she put herself through college and then seminary and became a female pastor in a male-denominated denomination. Another quote she was famous for, “Don’t give up because of age or the naysayers.”

Another important ingredient is to remain young at heart. I really can’t believe some of the things I hear people say. A 35-year-old professional sports player feels like the oldest member of the team-maybe because he is the oldest member of the team. But when the young guys in the locker room are listening to their I-Pods, he hasn’t a clue how to join them. It takes his daughter getting him in touch with the latest technology to help him feel like one of the guys but he gets razzed in the locker room. Why should the latest technology be only for the youngest of the young? Why do some 50-year-olds cop out with the “I’m too old for this stuff” when 70- and 80-year-olds have tapped into the latest resources? If it’s just not your thing, say that not “I’m too old.”

Nothing warms my heart more than a 20-something listening to Tony Bennett, the 6-year-old noted for having the largest collection of Elvis memorabilia, or seeing an 80-year-old man wearing a ponytail, out jogging listening to his I-Pod. Because it’s not about the age—it’s the attitude—of being an individual while remaining young at heart.

Say No to Boxes

Whether you embrace technology or not isn’t really the point, although embracing the world as your own is. It’s about not letting society put you in a box. Don’t give it away, buying into the idea that everything’s for the young and your time has past because too often we accept these aging generalities as our own because it’s easier. “People my age don’t do that” is a great escape—so people think.

A wise person once said, “People put you in boxes so they can dismiss you.” Or in the case of our modern age, so that Madison Avenue can market to you. While I am a boomer, I’ve rather disliked being put in that box my entire life. But it’s only so people can sell us something and while that can be a good thing, it can also be detrimental. While it can be cool to join together and share our history, when we categorize ourselves in a certain age group totally, we stop thinking for ourselves and we stop being ourselves. And while I have a lot of boomer sisters online doing great things for this age group—I applaud them—people often lump me in with that group but my message has never really been about an age.

For example, on a recent cruise I noticed the cruise line, instead of playing a set of soothing jazz music in a martini lounge, was playing a song from my childhood. It seemed highly-inappropriate for the venue. Their marketing department must have concluded that the majority of their passengers were now boomers and this meant they wanted to hear songs from their youth. Must we only embrace the music we heard when we were kids? Don’t people have more diverse—interesting—tastes than that? I’m hesitant to return to that cruise line if that’s their marketing approach.

When I was a young woman, I was drawn to older women who saw me for the individual that I am. Now that I’m an “older” woman, I’m drawn to younger women. Maybe because I don’t have children, I see them as women and not as daughters—I see them for the individual they are. But one of my role models was an older woman who had 2 daughters close to my age but you never would have known that. She treated me like an individual and not as somebody the age of one of her daughters. Life shouldn’t be about the age—it’s about the attitude—no matter our age.

How often have you heard the statement “Use it or Loose it”? What about the now famous Nike slogan “Just Do It”? If you have heard these or any number of other slogans they make it seem that getting out and running a marathon is a matter of jumping up, putting on some running shoes and going for a leisurely 30 mile run.

Compare that to starting out with a new workout routine whereby you start by doing some exercise, maybe walking/running a mile, cycling or any number of other activities, only feel like you have been hit by a car the next morning. Rest assured that you are not the only one that has gone through this experience. What our faced paced, instant gratification society has failed to explain to people is that “Just Do It” is not reality and unfortunately what you are feeling that next morning is reality.

Having spent a number of years working out in various gyms the same thing happens year after year. Starting in January and running through about the end of February getting a spot to workout is at a premium, but by the time March roles around things begin to thin out. Where does everyone go? In short human nature is such that we are not going to do something that doesn’t feel good, at least not for very long. Unfortunately, all of the marketing campaigns out there would like you to believe that good health and staying physically fit is simply a matter of joining the local gym/spa and starting a workout routine.

That is by far the worst thing someone can be thinking when starting out on an exercise regimen. That wasn’t the case when you were 20 years old and now that we are all much older that certainly is not the case. If any of the above rings true to you, below you will find some helpful tips that might just help increase your odds of success next time you begin to exercise. Now for those of you who are successfully maintaining a workout regimen don’t checkout as there may be some helpful tips here that will help you stay on the road to success and a much healthier you!

First of all you need to know that starting out on a new workout regimen is going to cause some soreness, stiff muscles, and general aches and pains. Sure we have all heard that working out is important for out health, that it will give you increased energy, improved bone density, and the list goes on. What they failed to tell you is that these things do not happen in the first couple of weeks. If all goes well you need to get through the first 6 to 8 weeks of any new workout routine before you are going to start seeing these benefits. Yes, you read that correctly, that is 6 to 8 weeks before you will start to see benefits.

That is exactly why what we are talking about here is a healthy lifestyle. We were designed by our maker to move. At our very lowest level in our DNA we are wired to exercise, get certain nutrients and in with all of these things in place we are constantly rebuilding our bodies. Your body is a miracle at work replacing at a minimum of 300 billion cells everyday and as you can imagine if you create 300 billion healthy cells today, tomorrow and moving forward you will in a very real sense grow younger.

Now that we know we are not all capable of jumping into a pair of running shoes are starting out on our first marathon with no training, let’s look at how to get there. Well maybe not running a marathon, but having the energy, strength and stamina to do the things that we want to do.

Start out SLOW! Rome was not built in a day and you certainly are not going to transform your body in one day of working out.
Start with a long term vision that this is a new part of your life. Find something that you enjoy and stick with it. As many of us have heard variety is the spice of life. This is very true with or workouts. Do different things from time to time, but stay active. If you have spouse and they will participate with you the chances of your success just went up 10 fold. Walking, running, cycling, weight training, swimming, rowing, yoga, dancing and this list could go on forever.

If at all possible try to include some type of weight bearing exercises a couple of times a week as these are great for increased muscle density and there is countless studies showing that increased muscle is imperative for longevity. This does not mean going out and trying to become the next Arnold, but it does mean stressing the muscle to the point that they know they are still needed and expected to work.

Additionally, stretching is a must with any workout program as this helps protect the joints by improving range of motion thereby synovial fluid production which increases ligament strength/health.

Lastly and very important make sure that you are getting the proper nutrition. Even with the best of diets you simply can not get all of the nutrients that your body needs to maintain a healthy lifestyle and more importantly and solid anti-aging program. While there is not ample room to cover this here, please note that according to many experts the recommended daily allowance (RDA) does not provide adequate nutrition for the majority of our population and that certainly applies to someone who is staying active with any kind of a workout routine. As such your typical one a day type vitamin is like taking a glass of water to a forest fire and trying to put the fire out.

The same rules apply that have always applied: “Use It or Loose It”, but let’s be smart about the way we use it.

Glenn Antoine
AgingHealthier

How do great performers, athletes, artists get where they are?  I’ve often asked myself that question.  Especially when things are not going as well as I’d like them to go.  It’s easy to look at the achievement of others and be just a we bit envious.  But envy doesn’t change anything and we’re still left with the question - how do they get there?

Well, DNA plays a role!  What’s in our genes has something to do with it.  And then there’s the role of ‘nuture’ - the patterns, perspectives and viewpoints we absorb along the way of life growing up.  Some would go so far as to say ‘luck’ plays a role.

Yet - there are a lot of accomplished folks (in our case, women) with no greater genes than most others; little or no positive ‘nurture’ and what might be described as a ‘mediocre’ skill set, who achieve greatness!  Accomplish fantastic feats and leave us richer because they pursued what they do best and persevered in areas that required considerable discipline, training and patience!

“Envy” won’t get us there!  But diligence, discipline, patience and persistence will!

Although I was gifted with a more than decent operatic voice that was, in my youth, well-trained - I never aspired to be the next Beverly Sills.  Why?  Because it never occurred to me that I could be?  Could I have been?  I’ll never know because I didn’t pursue that course!

Each of us has within us the seeds of many different ‘courses’ we could pursue in life!  But only one of them is the course for which we are purposed.  Everything deposited in the genes is designed to get us onto that one course that ultimately leads to our unique purpose - the purpose for which we have passion, motivation and ambition.  That doesn’t mean that we only ‘do’ one thing in life.  It does mean that everything we pursue along the journey lays up a ‘foundation’ for what we ultimately are meant to achieve. 

When we achieve “it”, we achieve greatness!

What does this have to do with ‘gaining momentum’?  And what is ‘momentum‘?

Momentum is a continuous and steady move toward a goal or an action (NOT from Webster’s, but the dictionary according to Linda).  How easy it is in the beginning of a new venture!  The adrenalin flows, the excitement builds, fantasies expand beyond our wildest dreams.  The moment of launch occurs, often amidst a flurry of kudos and congrats.

Then the road of momentum turns a little rough!  There are hills and steep valleys in view and mountains in the distance!  Curves in the road slow us down and wear us out!  The larger-than-life fantasies melt into fear and doubt that the road of choice is the path I’m to take.

Stop! 

Let’s go back to the beginning and ask those performers, artists, athletes with great achievements to their credit, “what did YOU do when you came to a curve in the road and mountains loomed before you?”

I’ll lay you odds that the answer is, “well, I didn’t give up!”

Gaining momentum is easy!  Maintaining momentum is tough.  It requires discipline, determination, patience, persistence and more!

It requires always keeping the vision (our vision) in front of us!  The longer we persist, the more likely it is that the path will eventually straighten out, the hills and valleys will be easier to manage and the mountains in the distance are just that - in the distance.

Think of the metaphor of exercise.  The first steps are exciting because our vision is that we are healthier, thinner, more youthful - so we are ‘moved’ by the vision.  Then we must breathe and oh how painful those early breaths!  I want to quit; sit down by the side of the road and let my aching chest recover.  The ‘vision’ beckons me on. 

Suddenly, there’s a dramatic change!  Breathing becomes a whole new activity - deeper, with less struggle and more ease.  Suddenly, I feel as if I could go on forever!  I’ve moved into aerobic breathing - ahhhhh!

Momentum is like that!  It comes easily in the beginning, empowered by the vision.  Reality strikes and the challenges of the trip set in to defeat us. 

For those who ‘lean into the wind’ and set their course on ‘determination’; there comes a point in the journey when the road straightens out before them!

That’s what great performers, artists and athletes have that sets them apart.  Yes, some is DNA, some is ‘nurture’, a lot is a certain skill set; but mostly its the ability to ‘lean into the wind” and learn to take the curves in stride with the vision of accomplishment ever before them.

My encouragement for today!  Set the vision before you and then lean into the wind and let momentum be your guide!

Have an AWESOME day!

  Linda

THREE WOMEN , TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA.
SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER  FOREARM AND
THE BEEP STOPPED.
THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY.

“THAT WAS MY PAGER,” SHE SAID.  “I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM.”

A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG.

THE SECOND YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR.

WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, “THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND.”

THE OLDER WOMAN FELT VERY LOW -TECH. NOT TO BE OUT DONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD
TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE.

SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM.
SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER REAR END.
THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER.

THE OLDER WOMAN FINALLY SAID………

“WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT… I’M GETTING A FAX!!”

When you stop laughing, send this to those who will appreciate it. 

Dear AWP friends!

 The AWP Buzz may be a little late today!  But it will come out and there’s some exciting news - so watch for it!

The delay comes because there was a bit of a personal ‘crisis’ that I don’t mind sharing with all of you.  If you are a praying woman, please keep the folks involved and the situation in your heart and mind for recovery!

Late last night, middle daughter called to say that she was on her way to link up with youngest daughter to drive together to Indianapolis (60+ miles away).  One of youngest daughter’s best friend’s husband had been critically injured in a motorcycle accident; was lifelined to Methodist in Indy; and the friend’s parents were away on vacation.  She was alone at the hospital.

Youngest daughter is recovering from what was to be a simple procedure, so middle daughter said, “you’re not going alone at 10:00 p.m.” - so off they went.

Mom, of course was on pins and needles because they drive I-70 and the hospital is downtown (and I do mean “downtown”) Indy.

The good news is the husband survived the initial surgery; daughters are back home safely; and their friend’s parents arrive today in Indy to be with her.

This mom, however, is a wee bit of a ‘wreck’ herself.  I don’t mean to be fascious about something so serious.   It’s just that my head isn’t where it needs to be because my heart hurts for everyone. 

But you know what really comforts me in all of this!  The pleasure I have in knowing that my girls would drive 60+ miles; late at night without thought of personal safety - to be with a friend who desperately needed someone to be there.  Someday, soon, I’ll tell them so!

Wonder why I feel comfortable sharing this on the AWP Blog?  Because that is what a safe community or network is all about!  I know I’m among friends who understand and are sensitive to the needs of others and compassionate about circumstances!

Now, back to the business of The Buzz!

  Linda

Know the story of Joshua, from the ‘book’ of the same name?

Regardless of your faith stance, the early chapters of the Book of Joshua hold a powerful lesson for us as we ponder the future.  What it holds for us in the 2nd half of that future! 

In fact, I’ve often used the story of the Israelites crossing the Jordan with Joshua at their helm, as a powerful motivator for women who appear to be “stuck” in their life journey.

In short and by way of review, Joshua receives instructions for making the crossing.  At the command, the priests waiting at the river’s bank, step into the water .  The moment they do, the waters upstream are held back and the priests, with the ark, can walk to the center of the river on dry ground.  And most of us know the ‘rest of the story’.

Notice that nothing happened until the priests put their feet in the water!

Life is often like that.  Nothing happens until - until we do something! Or we are ‘nudged, prompted or urged by circumstances or situations that push us into the water.

 Notice I used the word, “urged”!  Seems similar to “urgency”, doesn’t it?

I know that entering upon the passage we call mid-life and moving into the 2nd half of our journey has enough urgencies of it’s own.  But pay attention to the sense of urgency we feel about ‘grabbing a hold of the dream’ while there’s still time. 

It may be saying “it’s time to put your foot in the water”!  If the dream you have for the rest of the journey ‘meshes’ with your passion for what it holds; the skills, abilities and talents it takes; and the energetic motivation and ambition you have to see it through - then take a lesson from Joshua!

 Put a foot in the water!

Have an AWESOME day!

  Linda

You gotta do it NOW!  How often have you heard that, especially from sales persons.

I spent a number of years in fundraising development and all we heard was “create a sense of urgency”.   Every appeal had to create a sense of “urgency” or “crisis”.

One of the neat things about the 2nd half of the journey is at some point, we cease to view everything with a sense of ‘urgency’. 

However, there are some things that require some sense of “do it NOW’!  Because if we don’t we may never accomplish our 2nd half of life goals!

Look at it this way!  If we have a dream; we have discovered our passion and purpose, and we’ve begun a plan to make it happen - then what are we waiting for?

How often I hear women our ages talk about their vision and dreams as if they have all the time in the world!  My usual response is, “when do you plan to get started?”  Followed by, “what are you waiting for?”

You can’t imagine the shock on their faces!

While they’re searching for the answer to my provocative questions, I’m thinking - will she come to the end of life wishing she’d pursued with just a little bit more sense of ‘urgency’!

In an earlier post, I mentioned that John Maxwell does a daily personal life plan that is ‘tucked up under’ his life goal(s).  Everyday he does something toward accomplishing (or at least maintaining) his overall life plan.  He’s fortunate to have discovered his passion and purpose early in life.

Some of us don’t come to that place until  we’re into the 2nd half of the journey.   I didn’t and there are days when I think that those folks who like to say to me - “you’re starting something new at your age?” - incredulous that someone my age would launch a new thing - may be right!

What those kind of comments do is raise a sense of urgency in me to move - to get going - to do enough each day toward the goal to make certain I see the fruits of my labor.

If you’re reading this right now and thinking about what you might do once you’ve retired or dreaming of an early retirement so you can pursue your passion and purpose; I encourage you to stir up a sense of urgency within that moves you to begin mapping the rest of the journey based upon what motivates you; whets your ambitions, and meshes with what you are passionate about or for!

Don’t wait another day!  Get a grip on how you want to spend the 2nd half of the journey; look at it from all angles; put it on paper; determine what is and is not doable - and then take the first bite of the ‘elephant’.

And the first bite is putting it all on paper!  Once you see it - you can believe it will be!  And once you believe it will be - you’re in the best place to begin stepping toward that end.

Stir up a sense of urgency today!  Decide what must be done first and put it on tomorrow’s life plan “to do” list.

And then do it!

Have an AWESOME rest of the day.

  Linda