I’m still breathing and kickin’!  From gorgeous Skagway, AK.  Wandered about this small town with numerous shops, including what has to be the most jewelry stores in one village I’ve ever seen.  Good thing I don’t care for diamonds or jewelry of most kinds or I’d be broke for the next 20 years!

I’m here in the ship’s internet cafe and they have a special for the ‘happy hour’ - 1/2 the normal price per minute for use; so I’m taking advantage in order to connect with all of you.

What great posts from Peg and from Kathy!  I’m DELIGHTED to find our team and new members beginning to connect; get acquainted and fulfill the vision and mission of AWP!  Thanks to each of you and all of you for picking up the “ball” while I while away my time on board Holland America’s Zuiederdam.  Too much food - I’ll have to diet for the next year to take off the weight I’ve gained considering the fantastic SUNDAE BAR on board and delightful waffle cones available in each port (uh hum, I did say when I grow old I’m going to eat ice cream every day, did I not?).

The scenery along the inner passage is breathtaking!  There appears to be little coastline and the towns are mere villages, including Juneau the capital of AK.  Today we found the delightful Red Onion Saloon in Skagway, reminiscent of the late 1800’s during the mad rush for gold in them thar Alaskan hills.  The waitresses are dressed as the ‘ladies’ of the brothel must have dressed, including push-up bras that leave little to the imagination (friend Harold noticed as well - what can I say), but are delightful, friendly and efficient.  We had a cup of the hottest chili I’ve tasted in quite some time, ate it slowly so we could listen to the honky-tonk pianist and admire what must be the authentic late 1800’s wooden bar.  It was loads of fun!

I’ve got to watch my time as it really is expensive to use the cafe, even plugging in my own laptop.  So having said that, I won’t be back online until we return this coming Sunday.  You are all in such capable hands with Peg and Kathy.  And I do encourage our other members to join the fun of posting on the AWP blog.  Let Peg and Kathy know how much you enjoy what they share and let us know that you are being informed, enriched and empowered!

Later tonight we set sail for Ketchikan, our last stop on the return voyage to Vancouver.  Our YMT (Your Man Tours) coach takes us to Seattle for the overnight and an early flight Sunday from SeaTac to Indy via Minneapolis-St. Paul.  Please keep us in your prayers for a safe journey!

Monday is a national holiday, so I’ll take this opportunity to wish each of you a happy Labor Day and pray that it is safe and great fun for you and family. 

Peg and Kathy, please continue and I’ll get caught up when I return.

Blessings and peaceful greetings to our AWP members and frequent visitors!

Have an AWESOME evening!

(can’t do a pix from this system)!

Linda

Greetings all from Spokane, WA.!

We arrived here a short while ago to a magnificent hotel with a welcome cooler and cookies for us weary coach travelers (I feel as if I’m still in the sway of the coach as we traveled from Butte, MT. today).  The grounds are beautiful and the peace and quiet is so welcome after a long day of travel from Montana, across the panhandle of Idaho into Washington state.

Our first stop today out of Butte was Wallace, MT.  It is a quaint village nestled in the foothills of one of the many ranges of the great Rocky Mountains that span over 2500 miles from Colorado to northern Canada.  Wallace is home to the first federal prison in the USA (hope I have my facts straight) and is now a museum that also houses an extensive display of antique cars, including early Cadillacs, Desotos, Pontiacs and Chevolets, as well as several Packards and Hudsons (okay gals, remember these beauties from our youth).

During the long coach ride, we saw a video about the true story of Nicholas Wilson, a young Montana youth who lived with the Shoshone Indians for two years during his adolescent years.  He was coaxed to come to their camp and was befriended by the son of the Chief.  Chief (?) and his mother considered Nicholas their own son and taught him the ways of the Shoshone.  During a fierce battle with a neighboring Crow tribe, the Chief’s son was killed.  When the Shoshone elders learned that a white posse was headed their way to search for the boy, they encouraged him to return home.  As he rode across a pass in the mountains, he killed an Indian about to scalp a young white man.  That “white man” was Nicholas’ brother, Sylvester.  Four years later, Nicholas returned to the Shoshone camp to learn his Shoshone ‘mom’ had died.  The story touched the hearts of everyone on the coach. 

The Shoshone had made peace with the white settlers and refused to go to war with them as they moved into the great northwest.  Most of the earliest settlers were Mormon and the relationship between the settlers and the Shoshone tribes was one of peace and great friendship.  The chief of the tribe that reared Nicholas was later granted high military honors by the US government and is buried on a large Shoshone reservation in northern Montana.

The other highlight of the day was a stop at Lake Coeur d’Alene (hope I spelled it correctly).  This beautiful lake has a 135-140 mile shoreline and houses an upscale resort on the shore of the lake near the town that bears its name.  It’s a quaint village with neat shoppes and well-manicured lawns.  The place was ‘hoppin’ because Rudy Guilliani was expected for a major fundraising dinner in or near the resort and the TV crews were everywhere. 

The lake is nestled between the mountains that are everywhere!  As far as the eye can see are magnificent peaks covered with evergreens that rise from the rocky face of the peaks.  It’s so awe-inspiring its hard to describe.  The little towns along I-90 (the longest continuous interstate in the US stretching from Boston to Seattle) are all historic and most have kept their facade commensurate with the era in which they were born.  We stopped at one village a short distance from Coeur d’Alene and had espresso almond ice cream sitting on chairs vintage 1915!  Every other shop was antiques and collectibles (I didn’t dare cross the thresholds).

Tomorrow is another long coach day beginning at 7:00 a.m. (ugh).  We’re headed for the Canadian border and the town of Vernon, BC.  Saturday we depart Vernon and coach to Vancouver where we’ll board Holland America lines for a 5:00 p.m. departure along the inner passage to Alaska.  We are ALL anxious to board the ship (I plan to sleep until noon on Sunday a.m. - well maybe just until 9:00 and that will seem a luxury).

I continue to be overwhelmed by the vast beauty of this part of our country.  It is exquisite in its contrasts - mountains, cool clear streams, quaint villages that look like they came out of a western film, wide plateaus with fields of cattle and sheep and the vast blue sky that seems wider and higher than I’ve seen before.  It’s so much it’s hard to take it all in!

I gotta’ tell you - I’m exhausted.  I think I’m typing in my sleep, so I’m going to close for today’s post.  Don’t know whether internet access will be possible at tomorrow evening’s hotel, but if not - look for another tale from Linda’s travels once on board the Zuiederdam (know that’s not correct spelling, but you get the gist).

 Hope all is going well for all of you.  Continue to keep us in your prayers for safe journeys and we’ll be in touch again soon!

 Have an AWESOME evening!

  Linda

Greetings from Butte, Montana!

I’m reminded of the line from a wonderful song of praise, “How lovely on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news!” 

I bring you news from the awe-inspiring mountains of the great American northwest.  Awe-inspiring in no way adequately describes the vastness of the Rocky Mountains as they rise to 13,000 feet in the Grand Tetons into the magnificent 2.2 million acres of Yellowstone National Park.

Yesterday, we traveled into Yellowstone via the western gate and headed for famous Old Faithful.  As we rounded the curve into the coach park, our driver played “How Great Thou Art” and there was not a dry eye in the entire bus.  What strikes me is the hauntingly beautiful immenseness (is that a word?) of this country - miles of sagebrush, pines, sheer cliff walls and geothermal underground springs that erupt throughout the park.  We were fortunate enough to have lunch just in time to see Old Faithful be faithful and shoot more than 50 feet in the air.  We returned for the evening to a quaint western village - West Yellowstone just outside the park entrance.  I had the most delightful black forest mocha java you’ll ever imagine! 

Today we re-entered the park and headed for the Yellowstone canyon from which the park gets its name.  Not as grand as the canyon of the same name, but breathtaking nonetheless - cliffs of yellow and red stone rising out of the Yellowstone river several thousand feet in the air.  The air is crisp and cool, and once used to the 8000 feet plus elevation - breathing in the fresh clean air is a spiritual experience.

We saw bison and elk - one who decided to stroll across the road totally oblivious to the rows of cars and buses that stopped to gawk and snap pictures.  The bald eagle and her eaglets where not at home when we passed her large nest near the top of a lonesome pine on the flatlands at the foot of the mountains that run through every part of this glorious land. 

We left the park through the north entrance and had lunch in another quaint western village - Gardner, Montana and I indulged in a wonderful concoction of chocolate ice cream with some unknown bits of ’something’ running through it - scrumptous!

On to Butte, Montana, once home to the Anaconda copper mine and queen of the northwestern region of the U.S.  Tonight’s hotel returns us to civilization (has elevators) and wireless internet in all the rooms.

This afternoon on the coach, our driver shared a National Geographic video of the Lewis & Clark expedition from the Missouri River across the great northwest in search of the Missouri’s headwaters and the Pacific Ocean.  I was struck by the courage, diligence to the task and the stamina of these men and the one Shoshone woman who guided them much of the way.  I marvel at the story of the discovery of this magnificent part of the great USA, and the shear human will of these men and one woman who braved all that nature could throw their way to press on to the goal.  It forever changed our great nation.   By the way, the woman (Sagachwea?) was pregnant when she left with Lewis & Clark and delivered her baby on route!  She’s in my book of “women of excellence”.

As I’ve grown more chronologically mature, I’ve become more aware of how fortunate I am to be an American!  To live in a nation that grants me the freedom to travel at will.  While we have our challenges, we still have the greatest experiment in democracy and freedom the world has ever known.  We have a nation rich in resources and not the least of those resources is its people.  

I may be wrong, but I think as we move into and through the 2nd half of the journey, we become more aware of what we have as free people.  I know I do.  It started several years before 9/11 and grows stronger each year.  It took a giant leap forward traveling through the magnificence of our great northwest and imagining what it took to make this part of the ‘new world’ accessible to a fledging democracy fresh from the battle for independence - the United States of America!   Long may she live and long may her flag wave over the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Tomorrow we head for Washington state and Spokane as we inch closer to Vancouver, BC and Holland America’s inside passage cruise to Alaska with embarkation on Saturday.  Keep us in prayer for continued safety and MANY THANKS to Kathy and Peg for keeping the Blog fresh and alive and exciting with great info for us all!

Hopefully tomorrow’s hotel will have internet access as well and I can share a little about tomorrow’s journey!

Until then, it has been lovely putting our feet on the mountains and bringing good news from there to each of you!

Have an awesome evening!

  Linda

My friend and I are in Jackson, Wyoming - famous for many things, including ranch owner Harrison Ford.  Our hotel has wireless internet which was not the case last evening, so I’m taking the opportunity to post just briefly.

 First, thanks so much to Kathy Holmes, one of our AWP members, for posting today in my absence.  Kathy, please CONTINUE to post while I’m gone.  You offer all of us at AWP rich material that is certainly food for thought!

We traveled today from Salt Lake City through northern Utah, a corner of Idaho and into the area around the Grand Tetons and Yellowstone.  Tomorrow we coach through Grand Teton National Park and into west Yellowstone for a glimpse of Old Faithful and several other geysers. 

The country is AWESOME.  I’ve never traveled to the great northwest, and love the haunting beauty of the mountains and sparse vegetation.  I only wish I had a digital camera so I could upload photos of the countryside for all you to share with me.

 It’s time for dinner in this charming ‘old west’ town that attracts an upscale ski population from around the country and some of entertainments big names.  Our hotel manager said Mr. Ford is known to frequent a local bistro not far from here.  Wouldn’t that be a pleasant surprise!

Again, Kathy thanks so much for posting on the AWP blog.  I love today’s post and know all our members and visitors who visit today will as well.

 Have an awesome evening to all!

   Linda

In sitting in for Linda today, I thought I’d repost one of my articles called “The Forgotten Woman.” But before I do, I wanted to write an introduction that will set the stage for this topic.

Since my husband and I have returned to the Pacific Northwest after living in Florida for 5 years, the old neighborhood has become oh so young and hip. Being the young-at-heart couple we are, we enjoy that and find ourselves quite at home, although comments we hear while touring upscale, urban townhomes are a bit annoying. Comments such as “Oh, are you downsizing?” and “Empty nesters, huh?”

No, we are not “empty nesters.” We married later in life and do not have any kids. And we prefer a maintenance-free lifestyle. It’s like once you reach a certain age, the whole world becomes oblivious to diverse lifestyles–whether through chance or by choice–and insists on putting you in yet another box–an age box.

When the chick lit market was hot and “hen lit” was spinning off for the “older set,” I thought I had found my niche in the publishing world. While chick lit originally included women in their late 30s, publishers began to pull back and cut the age off at 34. And “hen lit,” while featuring women over 40, told traditional stories about being on the mom track. Sure, many of you may relate to traditional stories, but I know there is a large group of women out there who don’t. And it was time to let their voices be heard.

Therefore, I was compelled to write “The Forgotten Woman.”

“The Forgotten Woman”
by Kathy Holmes

I’ve seen it, felt it, heard it and lived it. What am I talking about? The forgotten woman. More often than not, she’s in her late 30s/early 40s, never married or recently divorced and without kids. But she could be 60 just as easily as 40, never married, no kids, but just as interested in life and love as she was at a younger age—maybe even more interested. Some of the most fascinating stories in life are about people who have found love at an older age—whether for the first time or umpteenth time. We all want to find love and we want to believe that it’s out there at any age. And it is.

We don’t hear about those stories often enough. We’re mostly aware of women of a certain age who are wives, mothers, and grandmothers even, living traditional lives. But there are plenty of other women who do not fit into that demographic. So what’s a woman to do when she has reaches a certain age but is living a life in totally opposite to what the perceived majority of women are living? Where does she go for inspiration? Where are the movies, the magazines, the television shows, the books?

Hollywood rarely casts an actress over the age of 40 to portray a leading lady, but in recent years Diane Keaton has been cast in some stellar roles. Movies like “Something’s Gotta Give,” is a great step forward and one many women can probably relate to. Occasionally a magazine comes along, such as “Moxie” or “More.” We’ve heard rumors of and seen a few novels called hen lit, matron lit or whatever old-sounding lit you might think of. But these books are about women who have led traditional lives, married, children, and are now going through a divorce or death of a spouse, dealing with their teen-age or young adult children and their aging parents. That’s fine. That’s great. For other people.

The women whose needs are not being addressed are those in that in-between age—looking at 40 either in the mirror or down the road yet and wondering about changing their life. Is it time to get married? Will I ever get married? Will I ever have kids? Do I even want kids? Should I buy a house? Settle down? Should I move to Paris? My life is a mess, how do I turn it around? Can I get a second chance? I’m turning 40, what should I be doing with my life anyway?

Forty and beyond isn’t what it used to be. Women are looking, feeling, and acting younger and because women have the freedom to make different choices, they’re not always choosing the traditional path. These women need an awareness raised about their circumstances and their needs addressed. They’re a market just waiting to be developed.

Kathy Holmes writes women’s fiction with romantic comedy elements while raising an awareness for women’s issues for women over 40. She can be reached at http://www.kathyholmes.net

After my last post, I feel a need to lighten the mood a wee bit!

Remember that famous poem with the line “when I grow old, I’ll wear purple and a red hat”?

Launched an entire movement (The Red Hat Society).

Well, I’m here to say that, “when I grow old, I’m eating ice cream every day!  Sometimes for breakfast, often for lunch and well after dinner, as well!” (Glenn’s out of town, so I can say such unhealthy things & get away with it).

Truly, now, there’s gotta be a balance - we’ve said so previously.  That means we’ve got to balance our healthy, anti-aging strategies with the ’sin’ of daily ice cream - don’t you think?

I mean where would life in the 2nd half of the journey be if we didn’t digress from the stress of maintaining the appearance of youth while balancing being youthful at the same time?  It can’t all be green veggies and ‘furry’ fruit (kiwi, you know, is hairy). 

 There’s got to be those times when we throw societal convention to the wind and wear purple with red as we eagerly down a huge dripping double chocolate cone - waffle cone, of course.  

I delight in recalling those hot sticky summer days as a child eagerly waiting for that delectable brown stuff to reach my hands.  Brown stuff that dripped down my fingers and across my hands and onto my red shorts as I peddled home from a daily ride to the local ice cream shoppe.  It didn’t even matter that my mother’s brow wrinkled in dismay at the state of her daughter’s sticky skin and chocolate-stained clothes.

It wasn’t summer without ice cream.  And it wasn’t winter or fall or spring without ice cream either!

As a young adult, I gave it up.  Allergy to dairy forced me to give up one of life’s greatest passions - hot fudge sundaes with whipped cream and a cherry!

But now that I’m growing ‘chronologically mature’, I’ve decided - allergies or no - I’m going to indulge the passion I have for ice cream and wait another day to engage my anti-aging regimen.

There is something about the ‘maturing’ process that is delighfully freeing!  Social conventions and cultural norms don’t seem as important as they once did.  So what if young folks stare when we show up in colors that my mama said “don’t go together”.  They go together for me - at my age.

And so what if ice cream has trans fats & cholesterol & other ‘nasty’ stuff!  Surely once a day won’t hurt!

Well you do what you think is right.  If daily ice cream isn’t your thing or the Dr. said “no no” - then you do what’s right for you.  That’s another great thing about the 2nd half of the journey!

As for me - make mine Private Selection “Peanut Butter Passion” and that’ll be my passion for today!

Have an AWESOME evening (have a little ice cream too!)

  Linda

Today, I’m diverting from our conversation about women’s voices.  Well actually not that much of a diversion.

Remember that in a previous post, I mentioned that one of my favorite supervisors knew how to ‘goad’ me?  He did it by pushing me until I got angry and went out and showed him a thing or two!

It’s true - anger is a motivator for me.  Whether we call it anger or righteous indignation (and there is a difference) - it can be a source of motivation that moves us from the status quo into action.

What started this ‘rant’ occurred a few days ago when I saw a church sign that said, “anger is a moment of insanity!”.  Well, I can tell you that I had a moment of insanity when I read that sign.  If that’s a fact - then some very powerful men and women of integrity have had a number of ‘insane moments’!

Was Jesus insane when his outrage over the moneychangers caused him to take a whip and drive them out of the temple?  I don’t think so!

Were the early suffragettes insane when they said enough is enough to women not having a say in who runs our government?  I don’t think so!

Were the many student dissidents throughout Europe in the early years of the last century insane to protest the oppressive regimes who took away individual personal rights?  I don’t think so!

Anger is a real human emotion.  It is not the emotion that creates insanity.  It is what we do with it that makes the difference.

Anger can and often is a motivator for positive change!  Anger with racial injustice in this nation prompted a movement that led to dramatic changes in our society, culture and government.  I’m not here to debate if it’s been enough.  I’m here to say that someone, somewhere, said “enough is enough!”  And did something about it!

Over the years, women have “had it” with a number of things that needed change.  And they have been frustrated enough or angry enough to do something about it!

When one looks at some of the greatest movements for change over the course of human history as we know it - women, women in their middle years and beyond, have been the catalyst for change.

Women like us!  Women who’ve passed their 40th birthday to discover that life goes on!  In fact, they may have discovered that there’s a richness to life that is dramatically different and radically more enjoyable than on what some might call the “sunny side of 40″!

I’m not just ‘blowin’ off steam” left in the “pot” because of a silly saying on a building whose folks should know better! 

And I’m not just ‘whistlin’ Dixie in the dark, either.  Women our ages have the wisdom, knowledge, ‘guts’ and strength to make change - positive change where we have been planted - and beyond.

There is a difference between anger and righteous indignation.  It’s too much to go into here at this moment, but for matters of simplicity - anger most often results when someone or something does something to me - personally. 

It often rises out of fear!  Just ask me how I react when a driver comes roaring up to a stop sign as if he/she isn’t going to stop.  I hate to admit this, but I yell and scream at them and have often shook my fist in their direction.  Why?

I was injured in an accident when a driver didn’t yield to a green light and came roarin’ through the intersection and nearly killed me!  And when I think it might happen again - I am terrified.  So my fear of being wiped out by another driver results in anger that behaves in a less than dignified manner!

Righteous indignation, on the other hand, is often the result of our being outraged by events that harm or damage others.  Doesn’t matter whether the harm is physical or an assault on intelligence or a piece of false information that has the potential to lead others astray from fact or truth.

I say, “thank God for angry indignation that leads to change - positive change”.

I say, “thank God for women who had the courage to say ‘enough is enough’ and rose up in an effort to make certain that change occurred.”

I say, “thank God for the someone in that church who will realize that the saying on the sign needs to be worded differently in order for the truth to be dispensed - and make the positive change!”

Wanna bet - it’ll be a woman?!

And one of our ‘vintage, too!

Have an AWESOME day!

  Linda

Speak with authority!  Speak so others not only hear; but listen and take us seriously!

 Not only is it important for our personal relationship lives, but for our professional lives as well.  It’s hard enough at times for women in the marketplace to be taken seriously as recent studies indicate is still the case.   Although we’ve come a long way, baby - we’re still limited by two glass ceilings.  The one that the marketplace places there and the one we place there in our minds.

While promotions and career advancement are wonderful and certainly important - acquiring the voice of authority will last us a lifetime - long after we’ve retired and moved onto to other exciting things that the journey has for us.

As I’ve thought about this subject and how to offer tidbits (or ’snippets’) of info that is helpful - I find it difficult to come up with a “list” of things that you can practice and acquire.

The voice of authority isn’t a skill we learn - it’s a state of being we achieve! 

When I read the Gospel stories of Jesus walking with the people and teaching them about himself and the kingdom - I pick up some sense of how it must be to ’speak with authority’.

First, he knew his subject ‘intimately’.  Today, we would say it this way - “he knew what he was talking about” and it came through loud and clear to the folks with whom he communicated.  

He spoke without hesitation.  He spoke without any hint of doubt about what he shared.  He was confident in the message.

Secondly, he communicated by telling stories using common day examples that they easily understood so they could grasp the essence or meaning of what he was sharing.  He did it in simple terms, with simple language in such a way as not to demean them, but to make certain they had clarity about the message.

Third, he was never intimidated by the ‘big shots of his day’ who joined the throngs that followed him.  He knew there were those among the crowd that looked for every opportunity to ‘expose’ him; ridicule him and his message or blatantly confront him in public in order to humiliate him.  We might say it thusly, “He called a spade a spade”.

And he did it maintaining his own integrity and leaving the integrity of the other intact.  That is as long as the other had integrity to leave intact!

Basically, he spoke, taught, shared, communicated from a sense of his true identity and the wholeness of his inner concept of who he was.

The same is true for us!  There’s absolutely no reason we can’t achieve the same sense of ourselves; the same level of inner self-concept; a comfort with who we know we are; an intimate knowledge of what we know and how to express it to others and an inner awareness of our own personal and professional integrity.

Jesus didn’t get there overnight!  And neither do we.  It’s a journey into self-reflection; self-understanding; self-examination and self-discovery.  It’s coming to know what we’re capable of; what we have to offer; what we are good at and what needs ‘refining’. 

And it’s coming to terms with those aspects of who we are that aren’t as pretty as others - the aspects we like to deny.  However, it’s only after coming to terms with them and our capacity for denial that we reach a comfort level with the entirety of ‘us’. 

A humorous example from my life:  there are just some foods that I can’t eat and talk at the same time.  About the time I’m asked a question while chewing on one of the ‘forbidden-to-eat-and-talk foods’, and as I’m about to announce, “I can’t eat this food and talk at the same time” - tiny particles of the ‘forbidden-to-eat-and-talk food’ flies from my lips. 

And it doesn’t go unnoticed! 

I have come to a point in life that when this happens, I simply announce, “what can I say - I’m a slop at heart!”  And everyone laughs while I explain my dilemna of trying to talk with a mouthful of certain foods, etc., etc.!

I certainly don’t mean to make light of what it takes to get to the point in life where not only do we speak with authority - but those who hear us recognize our authority.  And respect us for it.

It’s never about how loud we speak.  It’s never about the size of the words we use or the way we tilt our head or hold our hands.

It’s about coming to that self-comfort level that anything we say, we know to be true. 

At that point, others come to know it as well!

Tomorrow, more on speaking with authority by virtue of our personal and professional integrity!

Have an AWESOME day!

  Linda

How do we find our voices and learn to make a noise that others hear and respect?  How do we gain a level of confidence in ourselves and what we have to say in order to make a difference in the lives of others because we speak? 

Today, I want to briefly explore how to be a woman who ‘roars’ with the voice of authority!

I am an avid ‘people watcher’.  I can sit for hours at a mall or in a park and just watch people.  Because I have a love for children, I find myself watching parents (especially moms) with their young children.  What I’ve observed is that the moms who seem to have the greatest positive impact on their children, in terms of discipline, are those who ‘bend’ to look the child in his eyes, speak plainly, firmly and softly while commanding the unflinching gaze of their youngster. 

On the other hand, the ones with the unruly kids turning a deaf ear to mom are the ones who scream at the top of their lungs.

I’ve also observed that the soft-but-firm mom gives undivided attention to her child and enough information that the child has a grasp on what mom is saying.  More importantly, on why mom is saying it.  And almost always, mom says, “do you understand” or “do you see why”.

While how we speak is important - equally important is what we have to say and why we’re saying it.  If I have a tendency to babble on without a great deal of substance to my words - then when I do have something fairly profound to say - the tendency of others may be to ignore my words.  Ultimately they will ignore the person who’s speaking as well.

When my friend was involved in the marriage encounter movement, we used to do the same exercises that he did with couples on the weekend retreats.  I found those exercises invaluable for learning how to ’speak my mind’; how to be understood; and how to be valued for my feelings and my thoughts. 

As I overcame my fear of ’speaking my mind’, I gained confidence in what I had to share; and I gained a new level of respect from him.

This exercise in communication is equally effective with friends, workplace colleagues, managers and subordinates, as well as married couples.  Briefly, it goes like this:  choose a topic that is important to one member of the team; pick a time during the week when both persons are least likely to be interrupted; write about the topic during the week (make sure to include how you feel about the topic rather than just writing your thoughts or ideas and make sure to use “I” statements rather than “you” statements).  At the appointed time, sit together and read what each has written about the topic.  Each person reads what they’ve written while the other listens quietly (don’t ask questions or interrupt if possible).  The listener should “check out” with the person who has read so as to make certain the he/she fully understands what is being said.  Reverse the process allowing the listener to become the ‘reader’. 

If the topic requires coming to compromise or ‘common ground’, then work out a plan together to reach a mutually acceptable compromise with which both persons are comfortable.

The above is a wee bit of an over-simplification of the process (for the sake of brevity); but hopefully you get the ‘gist’.

Most important to the process is the sharing of feelings!  When we can learn to share our feelings with another and own them - it can be a liberating experience - for both or all involved.

What does this have to do with speaking with authority - speaking as to be heard?

The ability to share our feelings with another involves trust.  It involves integrity and courage.  Only the most crass of individuals would not be positively impacted when another person, regardless of the degree of closeness shared, trusts us enough to share at a feeling level.  Only a totally obtuse individual would miss the level of integrity and courage it takes to share one’s feelings with another.  It may take time - but over time - walls come tumblin’ down when persons who live life relating to each other - relate to each other from a feeling level.

The more I write, the more I realize there’s a lot of ’stuff’ here that needs more exploration and more explanation.  I’ll get to that, but for now, I’m going to stick to “sharing how we feel with each other builds trusting relationships” and “trusting relationships” eventually lead to increasing levels of personal integrity.  And personal integrity leads to a voice whose words carry the weight of authority!

In order not to turn this post into a novel of some length, I’ll close tonight with a personal experience from my own journey.

I worked for one of the finest men I have known (actually two of them in the same corporation) who taught me a great deal.  We were friends as well as working colleagues.  He was my superior and knew how to ‘yank my chain’ to get what he wanted me to achieve.  It took me a little bit to realize that he knew anger was a motivator for me.  He would goad me about raising more charitable dollars until I got angry and then I would go out and do exactly that - raise more dollars!

But it took its toll on me and once I realized his strategy, I confronted him while on one of our monthly corporate staff retreats.  I used much from the M.E. model and ended by sharing the feelings I had once I awakened to his ’strategy’.  I recall saying, “Jim, I like and respect you too much to allow you to continue on a path that will destroy my respect for you and spoil a great working relationship!” 

He was stunned!  That statement opened the door to some great  open, honest conversation and eventually to a plan to help him avoid ‘goading’ me.  And it allowed me to gain from him a promise that I could ‘call him on it’ when I caught him in the act of ‘goading’.

Most of all, it led to a deeper mutual respect for each other; a deeper trusting relationship that made it possible for us to often share personal concerns with each other in order to seek advice and support.

Although he was my superior on the organizational chart, he viewed me as his peer.  And when I spoke - he listened - with head & heart engaged.

Hopefully, this ’snippet’ from my personal professional history is a good example of what I’ve been sharing with you.  I know there’s all kinds of ‘pitfalls’ in feeling-sharing.  But for now - we’ll leave those on the table and take them up next time.

There is something about embarking upon the 2nd half of the journey that urges us to grow into a place where we find ways to be heard; ways to be taken seriously (if we haven’t in the past); and ways to gain the respect of others - allowing us to speak with the voice of authority.

Tomorrow’s another day!  My friend Harold has surgery again in the a.m., so I won’t be back with you until later in the afternoon.  Please keep him in your prayers and think positive thoughts for a full recovery!

Have an AWESOME day!

   Linda

We had a great WEB event last evening!  I can’t tell you how delighted we are with the Yugma web-based platform - so easy to use that even those of us who are still a wee bit technologically challenged can manage it easily.

We tested our CONNECTWORKING format and with the minor changes we’ve made, it works beautifully.  It proves that web-based networking (virtual connections for building business to the next level) does work.

When I return from a trip west and cruising to Alaska, we’ll plan more of these events.  We’ll use them for information-sharing; eduational opportunities and just plain engaging each other for our mutual growth.

Virtual connections do work!  Last week, I connected with a fellow 2nd half of life traveler through an article she wrote.  I loved what Kathy Holmes had to say and copied it into our blog and let Kathy know I had done so! 

That started the ball rolling on making a new friendship that hopefully will enrich each of us personally, but also professionally.  I’ve learned she’s from the northwest coast of the U.S. and loves the Pacific (as do I)!  Our numerous email connections are now blossoming into a time to share via phone.

Had it not been for the power of the internet and our ability to linkup with women anywhere in the world - I would never have had this opportunity!

Our paths would never have crossed.  And her rich history might never be accessible to our growing community of women traveling through the 2nd half of life!

In my ‘book’, that would have been a pity!

She’s joined us here in the AWP community and you’ll find more of her ‘aging with attitude’ articles on the AWP Blog as we exchange mutual wisdoms!

Back to the main subject of this post - the POWER of the TOOL!  The Yugma tool is just one way we have for connecting at AWP and as we continue to grow and add WEB-BASED events, our hope is that more of you will join us!

And if you’re an AWP neighbor because you have a business to grow - then you’ll want to access the TOOL and use its POWER as a means to take business to another level.

That’s all for this post.  It’s a full week - with getting ready to leave on Sunday and all that entails.  But I’ll post again before the day is out AND I’m looking forward to more from Peg Stookey.

Have an AWESOME afternoon!

  Linda