What is “dignity”?  How do we define it?  Why might it be important to us as we travel the 2nd half of the journey.

I’m not taking the time to look up Webster’s definition because while the ‘official’ definition is important; what really matters is defining it for ourselves!

Most of us know it when we meet it.  We experience it when we encounter a person who has it.  And we know when we feel we’re being it!

For me dignity may come in the form of blue jeans and ratty shoes.  It may come when someone shows up in their paint clothes with hair a mess.  And it may come in the form of business attire only because the occasion calls for such dress.

Dignity isn’t defined by dress.  It isn’t defined by much of anything that is external.  It comes with an ‘aire’ about it that says the person is comfortable in her own skin therefore how she appears is less important than who she is!

I remember seeing a much more ‘chrono-mature’ male with snow white hair walk into a restaurant a number of years ago.  He was in khaki’s and a blue oxford cloth shirt.  He had no fancy watch or gold jewelry.  But there was a stride and posture that caused me to comment to others at the table about how dignified he appeared to be.  Shortly thereafter, he sat at a table near us and was joined by a couple of friends.

He stood when one of the women came to the table.  He stretched his hand out to warmly welcome her and just slightly nodded his head as he shook her hand.

Wow, I thought!  The friends with whom I was dining were utterly amazed to see such deference paid to a woman by a male.  We quieted ourselves so we could watch and hopefully catch a few phrases of what he was saying.  As the others joined him (all males); he rose, shook hands and quickly introduced the lone woman at the table.  His smile warmed the entire area.  His quiet confident voice complimented each person at the table.  He spoke of his deep regard for the woman and how privileged he felt the others were to have her in his midst.

“That’s dignity,” I remarked to my friends as we turned our attention to our own business-at-hand.

Dignity honors our Papa first; then others (especially our family).  “It” is warmly receptive and needs make no apologies for how it is “dressed”! 

Why take off in this direction on a bright sunny Sunday morning (at least the sun is shining in this part of the world)?  For several reasons, but 2 I mention here:

1) we live in a world where dignity that honors respectfulness appears to have died; and,

2) dignity comes most often after significant transition events in our lives.  It comes as we grow more ‘chronologically mature’ and is, in my humble opinion, a hallmark of the 2nd half of the journey.  It may wear “silver hair” or it may not.  It may be dressed in blue pin stripe or it may not. 

But it is always comfortable regardless of how it’s clothed externally because what’s “in the skin” is where it comes from!

Do we cultivate dignity or is it something that simply arrives.  My experience is that there are people who simply have it for only-the-Lord-knows reasons.  Others of us must cultivate the seeds of it that is in every person.

I remember when my husband died at a too-young age.  Someone said to me that I had handled myself with considerable dignity & grace.  I didn’t think so; but she did.  I liked what she said even if I had difficulty accepting her assessment.  When I asked how she had arrived at that perspective, she kindly shared it with me. 

Having had that feedback from a woman whose opinion I valued at a time in life when life seemed more a mirage than reality; I could take her words and begin to put them into practice in other areas of life that were less traumatic.

I don’t think we have to go through that kind of major transition to get to a point where others experience our dignity. I think we can simply look around our lives and find those folks we experience as dignified; and begin to apply those traits, behaviors and attitudes to our lives.

On a final note, I guess true dignity is who we are and how we behave when no one’s watching.  But if your best friends and family members - who know you better than the rest of the world - would describe you to others as dignified (at least most of the time); then I’d say you’ve got a handle on the process!

A good exercise might be to think of a person you experience as “dignified” and make a list of what traits, behaviors, characteristics, etc. make you ascribe the word “dignity” to that person.  Then reflect and examine yourself to see how many of those same items are true of you as well.

I bet many (no, most) of you will find that you’re well on your way to being seen by others as a woman with dignity.

Have an awesome day with much love and someone saying “she has dignity“!

Linda, a fellow journeyer