Yes, many women I know hate the phrase, “personal growth”.

(I’m writing today’s conversation today!  How I love to be a little ornery and say things I know will cause one to pause & wonder. . .  Actually I’m writing Tuesday’s on Monday because tomorrow (or today) is a blitz.

Back to the subject at hand - personal growth.   You might ask what it is doing in a section reserved for “Biz Tips”?  Well it’s here because it is one of the foundational aspects of life achievements.  I’ve heard folks say, “I’ll NEVER get into that c_ _ _!” 

Well, guess what?  They get into that ’stuff’ whether they like it or not.  Life happens and they have to adjust, flex and otherwise course correct. 

That’s personal growth!  Responding in some way - with negative or positive outcome - to life happens.  Depending on how we ‘respond’ or ‘react’; we will make changes (sometimes very significant ones) that affect us for years to come - most likely forever.

Anything that comes along has the potential to grow us personally.  It may be something with our businesses or career and we don’t deem it “personal growth”.  But trust me, we either grow through it or we sit down at the curb of life; sulk & lick wounds; and ultimately become disenchanted and bitter.  No matter - that’s a growth strategy whether we think so or not.  Not one that is likely to have a positive forward-tugging outcome - but it is a form of growth.

Some months ago, I did long talks here on the necessity of using reflection as a tool in our personal & professional toolbag.  Reflection is at the heart of personal growth.  And personal growth is at the heart of business & professional growth.  We might translate the word “growth” in the last sentence as “success” - however we define success.

I think one of the reasons we shy away from the phrase is that we identify it with pain.  Those of us who grew up in the early days of the human potential - small group process era know all too well the pain that often comes with growth of any kind.  It doesn’t have to be that way unless the growth comes as the result of tragic or traumatic circumstances.

Perhaps it’s helpful if I translate the phrase to “personal change”.  Change is synonymous with “growth”.  Anytime there is change in life, we either grow with or through it or we do the “sit on the curb routine”.

Let’s apply the phrase to our present business life.  If I’m not having the success I’d like to have in developing strong relationships that lead to business growth, I might want to first ask “me” if the ‘problem’ is “me”!  I might want to ask one or two close (very close) and trusted (very trusted) friends what they experience of me that could be getting in the way of. . . .!  Make certain to ask for total honesty delivered with a heaping dose of gentle love. 

Maybe it’s the way I approach relationship-building.  Maybe I’m too focused on “me” and not enough on the other person.  Maybe I haven’t learned how to ‘read’ the other person’s temperment or personal behaviorial style and I come plowing in with outstretched hand to meet a person who has a large “personal space” that I’ve just invaded.

Let me give you a personal example that might be helpful (and allows me to ‘vent’ a wee bit).  At a recent event, one of the speakers made a very direct statement about his political preference in the current presidential campaign.  It was obvious this person was passionate about his candidate.  Well his candidate is not mine.  In fact, I have equally passionate feelings in the opposite direction.  The presenter was doing a session I was interested to attend.  However, I made an adamant decision that I didn’t want to be in the same room with this person because no matter the presentation, I felt I was going to be exposed to attempts to persuade “me” to vote a way I don’t want to do.  The manner in which the person made himself known turned me (and others I might add) off to anything the fellow had to say.  The bottom line for me was:  “I’m not here for a political discussion as that’s not the reason I paid money to come, etc., etc.”

What could the person have done to make himself more palatable to all present?  Not mentioned the candidate by name of course!  Simple solution isn’t it for those of us sitting on the sidelines.  But to make that kind of change might be very difficult for the presenter since his passion was on full display!

I use the above example partly because it’s fresh, but mostly to make the point that first and foremost, it’s important for us to look within “me” to see if the challenge is internal.  If not - great!

Or is it?  Is it better for it to be internal to “me” or something with another?  Well, I can change “me”; but I can’t change the other.  And trust me, if I try, I’m in for a “world of hurt”!  What I might consider is learning how to deal with folks according to their particular style; temperment or personal preferences. 

When I must make the change to accommodate another with whom I’d like to plant a seed that will grow into relationship. . . . that, my dear ’sisters’ is a matter of personal growth! 

 Have an awesome day with as much personal growth as is comfortable and considerable blessings as the payoff!

Linda