The “Sandwich Generation”!

Do you know who the “sandwich generation” is?  It’s those of us who are ’sandwiched’ between our children and our aging parents.

We say it on our AWP ‘home page’!  We refer to women who are sandwiched between the outgoing generation and the oncoming one!

I’ve gone here with this because over the past several days, I’ve heard from more than one AWP member who is dealing with aging-parent challenges.  Challenges multiplied by all the other challenges that life brings on a daily basis.

Once I was there.  My children were grown, but my mother’s CA returned in the bone & she decided to do only radiation therapy and then go to a long-term care facility to await the inevitable.  It wasn’t our choice - but hers!

The challenge for me was that I lived 88 miles (one way) from where Mom was.  My brother lived out of state and daughters were engaged in demanding jobs and in one case, a difficult floundering marriage.

To make the ‘personal aspect’ of this as short as possible; I traveled at least 4 days a week.  From Brown County Indiana to Cincinnati and back.  We resolved the challenge of making certain Mom had adequate attention at the personal family level by my making several wide round-trip “sweeps” weekly.  And most weekends, I drove home to take care of what needed to be taken care of - left from the undone matters of the previous week. 

Somehow, it all got done!  And Mom had more than adequate personal family attention during those remaining months of her life. 

What can we, as AWP ’sisters’ with similar life situations and life perspectives - do for each other?  Most importantly, what can we do for those of us who are really sandwiched at this point in their journey?

Since we are spread across the country (and soon across the world) - one might say, “not much!”

I don’t believe that’s true.  No, I can’t go sit with an AWP sister’s mom or dad while she cares for the other matters of life.  I can’t run errands, pick up the kids or otherwise be there geographically.

But one of the greatest blessings of modern technology is our ability to be present to one another emotionally, psychologically & spiritually via the web!

I can invite others of us who are in the same ‘boat’ to offer tips or “this worked for me” gems of wisdom by posting them here.

I can write supportive things that will lift her spirit and give strength and courage for the next wave of activity.

I can pray for her - her family!  Some folks say that all they can do is pray.  Well if that’s all we can do - that’s plenty!

I can be the still quiet voice speaking from the AWP “Many Messages” blog in the wee hours at the close of the day when the last thing my AWP sister does is ‘check-in’ here.  ‘Check-in’ to see if there are any words of wisdom, encouragement or otherwise “light at the end of the tunnel” that will bring peace to her weary body.

Some would say - some in ‘my generation’ before the information age dawned - that unless I can be physically present and “do something” - I haven’t done anything at all.

That’s simply not true!  I’ve been there - done that - bought the tee-shirt, and survived to tell.  And I can honestly report that the words of support and encouragement that those far away offered was food for the soul.  It was that ‘food’ that kept me going.

If you’ve been part of the ’sandwich generation’ and suvived to tell  - let me know!!!  And if you want to post something here that will be a ‘midnight snack’ for those who come seeking something - send me an email and I’ll make you an “author” so you can post your thoughts, suggestions and support here as often as you like.

I’m glad my ’sandwich’ days are at an end.  Oh sometimes, I get ’sandwiched’ between my needs and that of a daughter and grandchildren.  But it’s rare!

They do come to an end.  “Sandwich Season” does come to an end.  Usually not without some pain and sorrow - but it does come to an end. 

And then we look back and wonder how we did it?  How did we get it all done?  And with whatever pain accompanies the end - there is always that secret sigh of relief.  And it’s okay to be relieved!

Well, I don’t know if my thoughts have offered much of anything; but I was struck with how often in the past weeks I’ve heard from women whose lives have a ’sandwich’ quality!

Perhaps just acknowledging that we know; that we’ve been there, and reaching out with comforting & supportive words of encouragement is enough.

I certainly hope so!

Have an awesome evening with much love!

Linda