My earlier post was a little ‘hard around the edges’, I think.

So I’m breaking my new rule of blog-posting just once a day!

I do think that as we grow more ‘chronologically mature’, we tend to feel a “hurry up and go” urgency about many life matters.  In my opinion, that is a function of moving into the 2nd half of the journey that we may not have experienced – or experienced for different reasons – when we were “under 40”.

“Under 40”, we may be focused on a lot of different things.  Parenting, career-building, buying a first home or upgrading to one that is larger and fits a growing family or lifestyle.  Some of us, myself included, made the choice to return to college and earn a degree or two. 

All worthy tasks, but a focus that is much different than when we turn the ‘mystical’ age of 40 or more and bodily changes collide with self-perception and life expectations.

Speaking of “discovery”, it’s been my experience that many women really get into the discovery process once they realize they may have reached the beginning of the 2nd half of life.  When I say “2nd half of life”, I’m not talking about chronological age, but a shift in the way we see ourselves, our careers, our families – life in general!

Even though life over 40 or 45 may travel at the same speed as before, the shift in our perspective urges us to take moments from the day to ‘discover’ what it’s all about and “where do I fit in now”.  

As I’ve said before, life circumstances may push us there.  The loss of a relationship, job or life-role, while painful, may be the “start of something new”.  Something POSITIVE!  In the midst of the pain of loss, we often discover what I call an “inner bubbling” that feels remarkably like “excitement”. 

The mental scenario might go something like this!  “What in the world could I possibly be excited about?”  “Life has thrown me a curve ball and I find a twinge of excitement in my ‘gut’?”

Yep, it’s there.  I can’t tell you the times I’ve heard women in the prime of life (over 40 or more) pour out to me the pain of a spouse deciding marriage isn’t for him anymore and “now what do I do” – only to almost shamefully admit that where there should be major ‘handwringing’ – there’s a wee bit of excitement about what the future might hold for her now.

Don’t get me wrong!  There’s plenty to be fearful about, but mostly it’s the ‘unknown’.  When together we worked through all the ‘garbage’ and focused on a plan for her future – she walked away with shoulders high and a greater sense of confidence.  Confidence she didn’t know she had.

Yes it was helpful to have someone with an objective ‘eye’, who sat outside her pain, to turn to.  Someone who would help her discover the positive at the bottom of the dung heap!  But the plan was a part of her process and the confidence was of her doing – not mine.

I’ve focused on the ‘death of a marriage’ here because that is becoming more common than in the past.  But it could be anything that turns our lives upside down like tossed salad!  When that happens, a great ‘tool’ to have in our ‘box’ is the ‘art’ of reflection and it’s companion, ‘discovery’!

Okay, I feel better now.  I kept to the theme for this series and I was positive about the fact that it’s a Monday moment and that too shall pass!

Looking at the clock, Monday IS past the midway point so make the rest of it AWESOME!

  Linda